Welp, I only blogged One time this past year, when I shared my goals for 2017, which you can read here. Just recently, just today even, I have the itch to blog again. I LOVE journaling and blogging, but its something I have completely let go of over the years as I now do most of my sharing via Instagram or IG stories. I’m not sure why I like to share about my life, I just do, and its been an important part of my life for a long time now. Social Media has made it super easy for me to share all sorts of thoughts and ideas and adventures with friends and family, but I don’t think I get the same personal therapy and growth that I do when I actually sit down and process my thoughts on “paper” So I think I might be coming back here, to this space where I have gushed about so many aspects of my life over the last 9 YEARS! Crazy how time goes by. I was talking to a friend last night about resolutions and goals and she shared that she and a group of her friends did DAILY/WEEKLY/MONTHLY goals instead of one big resolution, and I really like that idea. I have a few New Year themes I want to put fourth, but I also have a number of smaller goals that I would love to log here.
At the start of 2017 I was on a mental high as I had just discovered the power of higher thinking and of living my life with more flow and less ego. I was listening to a lot of self help podcasts and spending a lot of time thinking of self improvement from a mental standpoint. I really ran with this a lot last year, and really tried to stay true to letting my life flow into places of least resistance. I took things slow. I quit some things that felt toxic, and I walked away from situations that weren’t good for me or my family. I also found more forgiveness, more personal strength and just more understanding for some of the people and situations in my life. I LOVE the world of higher thinking, but I also love a lot of surface stuff that goes in and out of my life. Things I am consciously choosing to still love and dedicate time to. I don’t see myself ever walking away from a more “traditional” mindset in order to get real woowoo, but I continue to spend time practicing and studying this way of thinking, because if you don’t, you will forget and you will sink back into thinking things like drama and expectations and guilt are REAL things and not simply bad tricks our mind plays on us.
2017 was a really great year for ME and kind of a hard year for my marriage. Both Jay and I started the year feeling pretty on top of our shit. We bought a house, our kid was getting smarter and more independent and honestly just easy. Jay had fallen into a good rhythm at work and I had my new cookie business and a nice house that kept me entertained. Our new home allowed us to have more people over, more parties, more space to be independent and just more activities to focus on. With all this success and growth we both became complacent and neglectful of each other. We grew further apart in the most apathetic way. We didn’t even notice it was happening, and then one day you realize its easier without them. Its more fun with someone else. That your partner isn’t the person you text to share a funny story, isn’t the person you cry to when something is bothering you. Their birthday rolls around and you honestly just don’t care. You go to bed at different times, you make plans without asking each other. You play “tag your it” with your kid. That’s the hard part of marriage, noticing when you are business partners, not friends. We see it now. We see what we did this year, and how it was no ones fault but everyone suffered. I’m not even sure why it all happened, but in early December I stood in front of Jay and said “Couples don’t get divorced because they suddenly hate each other, or cheat, couples get divorced because one day they realize it would be easier to do it alone then to do it with this person they feel nothing towards” This was a shoulder shake for both of us, that being passive and not engaged is what would break us. And so it begins, this new year with both of us knowing that we chose to be a partnership and that doesn’t mean that I find success in my life and he finds success in his life, its that we we find success together, that we take interest, that we stop taking advantage, that we push ourselves to care, to find fire, to trust again.
Was 2017 not the most eye opening year? To see what the world is capable of, what happens when people are scared or afraid, or OVER IT? In my home and in my community I really hope above all else that 2018 makes me focus more on the important things….which brings me to:
2018 WHERE FOCUS GOES ENERGY FLOWS
I have come up with 3 different 2018 Mottos:
“A SIMPLE LIFE IS IT’S OWN REWARD”
“DO IT NOW, ITS THE RIGHT TIME”
“HUNT FOR HAPPINESS INSIDE YOURSELF”
With these mottos I have also come up with some person goals that I hope will help me truly live with intention. I also do plan to come back regularly to this blog to work through the challenges and successes of these goals.
- Journal alone for at least a half hour (this might also be blogging)
- No mindless phone scrolling when I’m with family or friends
- Choosing to love my husband
- Pack Jays lunch while I do dinner
- Focus on my hunger cues and eat with intention and respect
- One load of laundry start to finish
- Deep water running (mon-fri)
- Go to bed at 9pm (read 30 minutes)
- Set a time each day for cookie business on my phone in the office away from family.
- Meal Plan and stay on Budget
- Find ways to show Jay my love and appreciation
- Make a breakfast casserole for Jay to take to work on Sunday
- Deep clean and purge one room or area
- Take Vada outside for walks twice a week (in the winter)
- Clean the bathrooms
- Blog twice a week
- Stretch 3x a week
- Work with Vada on Letter and number identification and lesson plans
- “exfoliate” the house (constantly get rid of things we don’t need)
- Do a batch of creative cookies once a month
- One self care item (nails, brows etc)
- Take a mini trip with Vada (Portland?)
- Work on the yard (Grass, landscaping, etc)
- Take a fall family Vacation
- Stay on budget and pay off all credit card debt
- CONSUME LESS
- Be gentle to myself in hard times and push myself in times of energy and passion.
- Put family first
- Keep life simple
So there it is, my endless list of ways to live a better life. I’m a list maker, a goal setter, someone who is always unsatisied but yet always pretty proud of myself. I have endless opportunitues in life, and every day is a day for me to do things that help me live a great life, to feel great, and to follow flow and love towards a full heart. I hope 2018 brings everyone clarity and love.