Woe is me.

Some days I wonder what skinny girls spend their time obsessing about.

I use to work in the fitting room at Old Navy and I use to watch all sizes of girls try on clothing. The skinny girls always had the weirdest things to complain about with jeans. “The pockets stick out weird” “I hate the color” “The crotch is too low” “The seem is weird” Seriously?

As someone who has spent many a moments feeling like absolute shit in the dressing room. My biggest concerns were usually “Do they Zip?” “Are they too tight” “Are they comfortable to sit down in?” “Are they stretchy” “Do they look like mom jeans” There was very little opportunity to be picky about things like color and butt-pocket design…puh-lease!

It actually irritates me when someone with a good body dresses poorly. The world is your CLOTHING OYSTER and you chose to dress like that?! I always felt like I could have really amazing style if I was just skinny. Alas, this has never been the case. Even when it came to wedding dresses, besides finances, the wedding dress world was NOT my oyster, and so I settled. It’s fine.

Today I am also very sad as I have recently developed a pretty sever allergic reaction to my engagement ring. After doing a bit of research it sounds like whatever my White Gold ring is mixed with (usually nickel) has now worn down a little bit of the gold and is now making direct contact with my skin. It’s been irritated for the last few weeks, but I thought it was from wearing it when I was working in the yard a month ago. I took it off for 2 weeks until it was almost healed. Within 48 hours of putting it back on my finger has a horrible rash/blister, it looks like a chemical burn, and feels just as bad. Needless to say, the ring wont be going back on.

It makes me very sad. We really did try to get me the best ring we could afford, and I was really happy with it, and now I can’t wear it. My mom said that my Grandma couldn’t wear her wedding ring for the first 40 years of their marriage. For their 40th anniversary they upgraded her ring to Platinum, nad now she can wear it.

From my research, it sounds like Platinum is the absolute best option for people who are metal sensitive. Problem is that its way out of our price range. We got our ring at Jared, and they allow you to trade in your ring for the price you paid towards something else. The cheapest Platinum band (no diamonds, nothing) they sell though is $1000. Yeah, way out of our budget. It makes me want to cry. I don’t know, I just feel like I finally had to be ok with the fact that my ring WASNT the big fancy princess ring I had always wanted, but now I can’t even wear the ring we could afford. So what, on my wedding day Mr. Gaunt will slip a ring on my finger for the ceremony and then I have to immediately take it off? Its bullshit, and it’s not fair!

Whatever. I can’t even think about it without crying.

In happier news my Bamboo Disposable plates arrived and they are amazing! I couldn’t be happier with them.

Gah. I’m in such a funk now, I’ll end this now before I just whine some more.

9 pounds of victory

I am down 9 pounds since April 18th.

This makes me super-duper happy. The only sad thing is that I’m still above my lowest weight.

CONFESSION TIME:

I don’t know if I had ever really mentioned it, but after losing 75 pounds, I put back on about 10 immediately, and held that 10 for about a year. This winter I added another 10 to that, and then in the months of February, March and April I added on another 9.

Umm…yeah….oops.

I could go on and on about why that happened, but the truth is I ate crap for 6 months. Holla. I suck.

Whatever.

Now I’m getting married and I’m on a mutha f*cking mission!

seriously.

I refuse to be a fat bride. Well, I refuse to be a horribly fat bride. I’d be happy to be a slightly plump bride.

So here is the plan Stan:

-Lose 1 pound by May 18th putting me at a solid 10 pounds lost.

-Lose 5 more pounds by June 1st. This is a bit harder as I will have to lose .3 pounds a day. That means ZERO CHEATING!

-Lose 10 pounds in June making me fit nicely into my “purchased-last-spring-only-fit-for-a-month-shorts” by July 1st.

-Lose 10 pounds in July bringing me 5 pound below my lowest weight and bringing me officially out of the “Obese” category and into the “overweight” category. Sigh…the things we strive for.

-Lose 10 pounds in August. The plan is to have my wedding dress re-fitted at the end of August. (SIDE NOTE: a few people have asked me all concerned if I’m worried that my dress wont fit if I lose weight. All I can say to that is…LETS HOPE!)

-Lose 10 Pounds in September. Well lose as much as I can by September 24th. Even if I lost 10 pounds my wedding dress would STILL fit because its flowy and has straps. This will also put me at a grand total of 100 pounds lost. Dont even get me started on how insane that sounds. Lets just say we might have to a have a party even bigger than my wedding for that day.

So, is it kind of completely insane? Yes and No. The first 50 pounds I lost was in 5 months, so I have done it before. This time I am also including exercise which I did not include last time. And last but not least, this time I have a wedding dress waiting for me at the end….motivation much?

So how I am going to do this you ask?

Well, the calories are staying low and the workouts will be getting longer and harder.

A funny things happened to me last week. My friend Danielle asked me to come over and hang out, and I said…wait for it…

“Yeah sure, I’ll be over at 4:30 after I work out”

That’s right, I actually prioritized working out over something, anything else. This has never happened to me. I have never prioritized working out. Also last night it was pouring pouring rain and I had eaten very few calories, and you know what I did. I flung myself off the couch put my shoes on and went and worked out (outside) just like that. Crazy town. And not to toot my own horn, but tonight my mom and sister invited me to Sushi, and although I originally accepted, I later texted my mom and told her I couldn’t go because I had to lose 45 pounds…lol! Non scale victory!

So you see, I really THINK I CAN, THINK I CAN. And no amount of reality or possibilities are going to waver my believing that I can get there!

Alright I’m done. I’m off to work out and then make Collared Greens and Chicken Sausage for dinner, and feel all skinny doing it.

Groomsmen Attire

Well Mr. Gaunt and I sucked it up and headed to the mall today with one mission: Find Groom/smen Attire.

It was kind of a hellish trip, with me throwing a mild fit in a mens dressing rooms, and feeling beyond frustrated with the sizing of mens clothing! Apparently Mr. Gaunts arms are too long for his width…uhhh…lame.

In the end though we pretty much completed our task. We got 1 piece of Mr. Gaunt’s outfit, but figured out how to order the rest. Then we picked out what the groomsmen (there are 6 of them) will be wearing, and emailed them all links (they live in 4 different states) so they can buy their stuff.

Mr. Gaunt’s ensemble will remain a pseudo secret (like my dress) but I wanted to share what our Groomsmen will be wearing.

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This is a square skinny Gray knit tie....I'm in love!

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Feeling relieved and accomplished!

Friday Randoms

-I walked 12 of the last 14 days in a row. I’m trying to do at least an hour walk with as much running mixed in.

-I have been using my little 3lb dumbbells on my walks too, so even if I’m not walking very fast I keep my heart rate up by doing different arm workouts.

-I was doing really good and was only 1 pound away from my weekly goal of losing 2 pounds, but then I ate Pho and I think the sodium and liquid really bloated me. However I have been really on top of it the last two days, so here’s hoping tomorrow looks good!

-All the sunshine in the afternoons on my walks has brought out all my freckles.

-We have a huge wedding to do list that we are working on this weekend. First up finding groomsmen attire, which is proving to be hard.

-We found an awesome deal on Bare by Solo Disposable cups for the wedding. we got 150 cups for like $6.

-I ordered feathers and some ribbon off Etsy this week too. Next up is plates. Oh and my mom bought us 25 yards of burlap for our table runners!

-I stole Tank tonight, he is on my lap sleeping as I type.

-I love Diva Cup TIMES A MILLION! The fact that it took me 13 years to discover makes me sad.

-So many babies are being born these days it makes me all giddy! I want to buy all of the mommas this book!

-Speaking of babies, Liam’s little sister (my flower girl) is due to be born in a month! Mr. Gaunt and I have a project we need to get started on ASAP! Wish so bad we could afford to fly out there to meet her before the wedding!

-I planted my succulent pots today. My Bok Choy is doing amazing, my lettuce….not so much.

-Our wedding invitation design is like 50% done!

-Mr. Gaunt has lost like 12 pounds since moving here. He looks so good…love him!

-We are going Garage Sailing tomorrow…be jealous

Wedding Table Linens

I have made a decision on my wedding Tablecloths!

YAY!

I had previously mentioned my love/hate relationship with table clothes…and chair covers for that matter…gag.

I had looked a round a bit for not Satin/Shiny Table cloth rentals, and I found a local place the rents burlap tablecloths, but he cheapest round ones were $35 a piece! What!!! Why would they be so much more? Anyway obviously I am not going to pay $35 a piece for tablecloths when we will probably have 15 tables. However the company also rents Burlap Runners for $5! much better.

So I’m going to do white (or off white) table clothes with burlap runners! I havent decided if I’m going to rent the runners or make my own with burlap by the yard. I’ll do some budgeting.

To give you an idea of what it will look like here yah go:

Cute…yeah? And simple, and rustic. I love it. I wish so bad we were doing big long tables, but it’s not practical for a few reasons. One being that our venue gives us round tables for free, and two, I think it’s easier for people to mingle when sitting at round tables where everyone can see everyone. However decorating square tables is soooo much easier. Oh well.

Did I tell you we booked our DJ and Photographer! I know…pleasing. And we are about 1/4 of the way done designing our invitations…yay! I actually need to go get paper to finish the design tonight! things are moving along! Up next is Hotels, Groom Attire and Rental stuff.

Oh and my sister is coming over tonight to help me make pillow cases for our couch pillows…holla!

DIY Save The Date Magnets

I almost completely forgot about these! They went out a few months ago, but I was waiting until everyone got theres before I blogged about it. So without further adieu…Our Save The Date Magnets.

I’m not sure where I originally saw the idea to do Magnets, but its a pretty common Save The Date idea. I looked online a bit. There are lots of websites where you can order Magnets, but none of them really worked for me. The ones that I could afford were too simple and didn’t let me customize them enough. In the end my friend Kayleah told me that she actually made her own, and that it wasnt to hard. So we did too!

I suppose the most difficult part of our magnet was designing it. I did the entire design in Photoshop. I kind of obsessed over it for a while. I want the perfect font that was unique and bridal, but not too girly (I ended up downloading one from here for free). The colors were also a pain to match (in the end I still wouldn’t say I was 100% happy with the colors). Mr. Gaunt and I came up with the idea to do the Silhouettes one evening and went with it. I don’t have any pictures on how to do a silhouette, but basically we took profile pics of ourselves against a blank background, and then in Photoshop I erased the background, made them solid black and did a little “clean up” of the edges (ok ok I shaved off my double chin…sue me!) I think they turned out really cute.

After the design was completed I made a file that had our image correctly sized over and over on a 10″ x 16″ template (room for cut off on a 11″ x 17″ paper) then we took it to Kinkos and had them print off 5 full color 11″ x 17″ sheets. Our magnets were 3″x3″ so we got 15 per sheet, 75 total magnets (which although our guest list is closer to 120, many of these are families who only got one magnet per household).

Then I bought self stick Magnet Sheet at Michaels using a 40% off coupon. They were around $11 a roll and I think I got 2 rolls, but only used 1.5. We printed off two coupons and went through two different lines so we got two rolls for like $13. The printing was around $2 a sheet I think.

After we had them printed I used my sweet Fiskars Paper Cutter (another good item to purchase with a Michael’s coupon) to cut my squares out. (NOTE: because I did not have a border on my magnet design, I made sure to have tiny corner lines marking where to cut) Then I laid them out touching side by side on the sticky side of the sheet magnet. The Sheet magnet was a bit large so there was some excess. Then I used scissors to hand cut out each one.

Done!

Of course they weren’t all perfect. Which is why I made a few extra, plus we wanted to keep a few for our memory box.