Me…in a wedding dress.

I went tonight (despite the snow) with my friend Shabana to try on wedding dresses at Davids Bridal.

I mostly went to just see what kind of style I like, and to try to get over my fear of me in a wedding dress.

I called Shabana because although I don’t see her nearly enough, she was a really good friend to me when I first move to Colorado. She was actually there when Mr. Gaunt and I met. She is also someone I feel very comfortable shopping with. She understands my frustrations with my size and lets me complain about armpit fat without making me feel like I’m obsessing over something stupid. In the end it was such a good choice to go with her. We had so much fun, and it was absolutely a positive experience.

Now on to the dresses! I tried on about 6 different dresses. Well one I only half tried on, things came to a screeching halt when I realized it was corset back…gag. As my consultant said “Every women has her deal breakers” Anyway, I tried on a number of different styles:

-Ball Gown

-Fit n Flare

-Halter Chiffon

-A line

I just wanted to see what looked best on me. I have a very standard hour-glass figure, broad hips and shoulders, smaller waste. I knew going in that an A-Line is what I’m SUPPOSE to wear, but I also HATE A-Line….HATE. A few other things I wasnt into:

-A-Line

-Beading

-Chifon

-Pick-ups

-Shiny/cheap  Taffeta

-Trains

Anyway here are a few I tried on. Please Note: The size that fit my waist and hips didn’t really fit my upper chest/shoulders. They of course said that when I ordered I would have it fitted so that it wasn’t squeezing me in like a bad muffin top.

Trying on dresses also reassured my decision that I WILL in fact be sporting a cardigan. It’s not just that my arms are overweight and ehem…soft. I also suffer from a mild case of Keratosis Pilaris which cause a discoloration and small red bumps on the outside of my upper arms. I also have a MAJOR freckle bathing suit tan line that I have developed over the last 3 years…its not going away. So all of these things mean I will NOT be sporting bare arms and back. Which is fine with me. Actually my consultant said that Cardigans are all the rage right now and that she thinks they are adorable….WIN!

I’m only showing you dresses I did not chose, as I plan on saving the “REAL” dress to reveal only on my wedding day.

 

This is 1 of 2 dresses that I MAY purchase...you just get a sneak peek.

HIDEOUS dress...I hate a straight across neck line. I only like sweetheart.

Pretty but a bit overwhelming.

Adorable but a bit pricey and a bit "princess-ey"

I do love tulle

The straps on this one hid my arm fat a little, but I didnt car for it.

 

The two dresses I’m interested in are VERY different. Everything about them is different. One is a dress that I would have thought I would HATE…and I kind of do. Its A-line and beaded and has a bit of a train. But it looked really stinking good on me…like REALLY good. The other one is one I picked out on their website as a bit of a dream dress. I was shocked to find how much I loved it in person too! However it doesn’t do as much for my figure. It’s not bad, just not as good as the other one.

So which do I pick, the one that looks amazing on me, but I don’t really like the style, or the one that I love the style, but isn’t as flattering?

Either way I did make a purchase! I bought the most beautiful rhinestone brooch belt with a champagne sash that matches the pearl necklace that Ms. G gave me for Christmas. It was a bit pricey, but my grandma sent me some Christmas money. The belt is literally to die for! I’m so in love with it. I also verified with my consultant that it would work with either dress I picked. I couldn’t be happier that I bought it!

Here is the last clincher. I came home and searched both dresses online to see if I could find them cheaper. The dress that I love the style of is available through another site $285 cheaper than at DB. The other one was not available. Hmm…something to think about.

I’m going to take Ms. G sometime soon to look at both dresses and help me make a decision. I was sort of planning on waiting to buy a dress until we moved, but based on the 3-4 month delivery time and then the 2 month alteration time, I may purchase it here and just take it with me. We will see.

 

 

Dress the Part

Funny little tid-bit of information about me. Before I had ever tried on a wedding dress I use to always watch Say Yes To The Dress and hear the girls say “I want to look like me” and I always though “I look like ME every day, why would I want to look like ME on my wedding day. I want to look like someone different, and glamorous” Then I tried on wedding dresses.

I stared in the mirror in full judgmental stance (head cocked and all). I couldn’t even look at my own face, it was too weird. I just stared at the dress trying to pull myself out of the picture. It was one of the weirdest things I ever done. And it was awful. Not sad awful, not even that depressing. Just bad. And it made me realize I DO want to look like myself, and I DONT want to look like a cookie cutter bride.

So I though and thought about it. I looked through all the pictures of dresses I thought I wanted, and then I realized they weren’t me. And no matter how much weight I lost, they were never going to be me. I don’t dress like that. I don’t hold myself like that. I’m not that. So back to the drawing table I go.¬† In search of a dress that makes me feel comfortable (absolutely NO sleeveless! Being sleeveless to me is like wearing a super short skirt, it doesn’t matter how cute it is if you feel like you wanna die wearing it) and nothing itchy, stiff, tight, taffeta, or shaped like an “A” GOD DAMMIT! (oops sorry)

So I searched the web and these are things that seem a bit more me:

Ok so obviously there’s a lot to look at. Some are just for the sweaters, some would need sweaters added to them, some are for the sleeves. But overall are any of them screaming out MORGAN!? Id love any and all ideas and opinions! THANKS!

 

Please Forgive

I havent cooked anything worth photographing, nor anything else health related. And to be honest, all I really want to blog about is my life-woes (or non-woes) and my wedding. For this I am sorry that for the next 10 months I may be slightly useless as far as weight loss motivation.

And do I still plan on losing weight for the big day? Well it depends. I spent a good week doing the hunger diet. Oh whats that you ask? It’s where I don’t eat unless I am VERY hungry, and I always go to bed a little hungry. It might seem like starving yourself, but it’s not, I swear I eat. However in 10 days I lost 8 pounds. Yup 8 pounds in 10 days. Wanna guess how many days it took me to gain back? Ok I only gained back 4 pounds, but as you can see I can drop weight and pack it on like its my job! Ha! So I really feel like its futile. I know I eat healthy. I eat when I’m hungry. I make good choices. I don’t work out at a gym, but I have a pretty labor intensive job (for instance last week I was harnessed onto a moving platform 20 feet in the air, where I had to hold a cordless circular saw to cut down a 50 foot wall for a 45 minutes!). I don’t know. I mostly wanted to lose weight for the dress, but over the last few days (and after a dress trying on Hell) I realized that I DO want to look and feel like myself. I want to be comfortable and happy, not stressed. And so I may continue to work on it a little, but I’m going to give a good effort in not stressing. I’m also re thinking my entire feeling on dresses, even lowering my previous budget of **trying to find one under $700*** to insisting on spending less than $250!

So that’s that.

The holidays are coming up! This is nice and not so nice. Again its hard for me to get excited when A. I have so many other plans and things I’m focusing on (especially financially) and B. I’m not with my family. However they are here, and its our first “engaged” Christmas and our last “Not-Married” Christmas so I want to celebrate!

Mr. Gaunt and I have decided to get each other undergarments for Christmas…lol! Seriously. We both are in dire need of all new underwear, socks, undershirts, camis and bras. So that’s what we are getting each other! Lots and lots of underwear! Whats not to like? That way we are buying useful things and not stuff we don’t need. We are moving AND getting married so purchasing other stuff seems silly right now.

We are doing Thanksgiving at Ms. G’s house again. It’s always a good time of cooking and sitting on the porch and drinking Champagne. She’s already planning the menu, and has some amazing Kale recipes in the works! I’ll be making pies, because I like that.

Mr. Gaunt’s Birthday is the 28th, and I want to get him a new portable DVD player. I think I might (for the first time ever) attempt to hit up Target and maybe Best Buy on Black Friday to see if I can’t get a good deal. I don’t have to work that morning, so why not? Im also hoping to get a dinner party at a restaurant planned for his actual birthday, since it’s the big 3-0 and all.

Lastly I have ordered some pieces to put together little surprises for my bridesmaids that will go out next week…eek! And I have a graphic designer working on a quote for all of our paper wedding goods (invites and such) that I will get tonight. Fingers crossed I can afford it!

Last but not least I leave you with a few recipes to remind you how diverse and amazing Kale is! Use it in your Holiday meals!:

Kale Pesto Spread (click the photo to go to the recipe)

Chinese Noodles with Kale and Mushrooms (click the photo to go to the recipe)

Mashed Potatoes and Kale (click the photo to go to the recipe)

Vegan Sweet Potato, Corn, and Kale Chowder