A Skinny Dress and Couples Therapy!

So my lovely Pro has been more or less two sizes smaller than me throughout our weight loss journey. This has been a huge PLUS because that means she gives me her pants that she grows out of just in time for me to start shrinking into them.  Pro (that skinny bitch!) decided to skip a whole size recently so now there are no pants for me to work into…damn you Pro! When I started my weight loss journey I had a fair amount of SKINNY CLOTHES that I needed to shrink into (my New York Dress FITS! My Red Pea Coat FITS!) but now I can fit into all of them and most of them are too big. At this point I have nothing really to shrink into (Kelli if you are reading this, save any pants you have and give them to me in March when I come!) so I’m lacking in motivation.  I actually heard on the radio around Christmas time, that reasearch shows the best way for women to lose weight is to buy an outfit in a smaller size. You see I LOVE LOVE LOVE clothes! It’s probably my biggest motivation in Weight loss, fitting into more clothes! I would be a crazy Lindsey Lohan Clothing Hoarder if I could!

Tonight Mr. Gaunt and I went to Savers and I found the perfect SKINNY dress! It is actually…..hold your breath….a size ELEVEN! Yes that is right 11! I case you didn’t know, I do NOT wear an eleven! In fact a size 10 is my goal size, so eleven sounds pretty damn good. The dress currently kind of fits, but its tight, too tight to wear in public….panty lines anyone? I would love for this dress to fit comfortably this summer, its perfect for Mr. Gaunt and I’s July photo shoot! When I put it on the first thing Mr. Gaunt said was “Its kind of like a casual wedding dress” which it is, in a beachy sort of way. I really love it.

So that is my current goal, to make this dress fit!

In other news Mr. Gaunt and I have decided to go to couples therapy! Why you ask? Are we having problems? Well no not really, but there are definitely things we could stand to work on. The last year has definitely been our best year yet, but there are definitely the occasional communication struggles. Also Mr. Gaunt and I plan to get married in the near-ish future, and I want to make sure we are discussing the right things: Kids, Raising a family, jobs, roles…etc. So that when we are married we don’t suddenly realize we have completely different ideas on how things should go. Anyway we are actually going to a therapist that Mr. Gaunt and his mom have both gone to a lot in the past (although not in a few years) this pleases me because he will already know a lot about Mr. Gaunt’s family dynamic and his relationship with his mom. I’ve never been to therapy, but I sure do love to talk about myslef…ha! So we have a tentative appoint for next thursday. I will keep you updated on how this goes!

Oh and I leave you with some dresses that were cute but I didnt purchase.

Another Shitty Week.

waiting for summer

Oh yeah, I didn’t go to weigh-in!

Yeah thats because I’m a loser (and not in a good way) in fact I’m more of a gainer! Crap! No matter how many time I remind myself I always let “Fake Weight Loss” superficially please me. Oh what’s “Fake Weight Loss” you ask? Well basically its a term I made up all on my own, but it’s when you lose weight in a unatural way (natural being basic calories in calories out). There can be many things that cause “Fake Weight Loss” like:

-Abnormally extreme workouts, like climbing a mountain.

-Being stuck somewhere where you can’t eat for a very long time, like out at sea

-Giving Birth…ha!

-Fasting

-Excessive sweating

Or in my case last week, being sick for an entire weekend and chosing to sleep rather than eat. See although I was thrilled to drop 2lbs in a weekend, I should have known it wouldn’t last. Thats the thing about “Fake Weight Loss” it doesn’t last, it always comes back. Lame.

Anyways my “Fake Weight Loss” came back and I’m sitting uncomfortably at least 2lbs higher than last week. Therefore I took the easy way out and skipped my weigh in. I feel really shitty about it, but I just need to get back on track. The bad thing is, I have ZERO motivation. I keep telling myself to go to the gym, to stop eating salt, to not come home from work and sit on my ass for the rest of the night. None of it works.

I was feeling really blue yesterday about my weight, seeing a higher number than I’d seen in a while. Then I was talking to a coworker who told me that Blue Monday the most depressing day of the year had just happened, therefore I’m blaming this lull on the tail ends of that. January just kind of sucks. I’m also soooo done with winter! I’m so sick of the short days and how it’s too cold to be outside. Bleh! I can’t wait until I can go swimming in my pool every day after work, and Mr. Gaunt and I can go for walks and paddle boat! We are even thinking about riding bikes this summer!

So at this point I don’t know how to get my shit together. I really wanted to lose my 75lbs awhile ago, but if I don’t hit it by the end of January I’m gonna cry. Seriously. This has been my worst month yet. Alright I’m off to bed so maybe I wont be quite so tired tomorrow. Let me know if you have any good motivational tips, I could use them.

Is This Your Start?

Bitch Cakes AFTER

I know with the new year there is lots of chatter about losing weight, working out, and making a change. My gym is total proof that people are on a healthy kick and trying to shed some pounds. I myself feel like the new year is a great time to get back into working out (I went THREE times this week…Go me!) and am really putting forth the effort to shed these last 45lbs.

Weight loss is so personal, and so hard. Trust me. I feel incredibly lucky that for some reason when I walked into a Weight Watchers on May 4th 2009 with plans to lose weight, it was the right time for me. The stars aligned and the motivation and strength in myself took over, and here I am 8 months later and almost 70lbs lighter! As much I wanted that to happen, I was never sure it would. Just like how I REALLY want to lose 100lbs by 5/4/10 its hard to believe that could happen to me. Why me? Why are there so many people out there struggling to lose weight, and I am making it happen? Theres nothing special about me, I havent become a gym freak, I don’t have a ton of money to hire a personal trainer and nutritionist. I’m just a regular person who has put in 30% (yeah I just made that up) more effort and stuck with it.

The reason I’m talking about this is because I read a really great blog post tonight over on Bitch Cakes Blog. If you havent seen her blog, she is great! Tons of great information on weight loss, vegan eating, weight watchers, and working out. I love her! Anyways I really feel like anyone who is struggling with starting a weight loss regime or is scared or struggling to keep it up should read THIS POST. It said so many things I want to say to people but couldn’t come up with the words. And read her back posts too because theres lots of good information.

Tomorrow I have weigh in, and I really am going! Even if I’ve only lost .5lbs I’m going to be happy with it. I’m also going to keep working out this week to see if I can get to 70lbs lost by a week from tomorrow. Good Luck!

Bitch Cakes BEFORE

I Hate New Years Gym Crowds!

I havent been to the gym since the New Year because I know it’s gonna be packed full of people pumping iron for their resolutions…ugg. I hate a crowded gym, well I hate any gym….ha!

I belong to 24 Hour Fitness but I never go because I am LAME and come up with THOUSANDS of excuses not to go. Recently they involve the gym being too crowded and me being too cold to go. Today’s main excuse is because I started my period and don’t wanna go workout, but I’m going to! I swear I really am! I need to lose 7 more pounds by the thirteenth and the weight isn’t falling off so I have ot go run it off! Ugg.

I’ve decided I need a little Gym motivation though, so tonight I’m going to make a 1 hour playlist on Mr. Gaunt’s ipod so I can just run until the playlist is over. Helps with time going by. Mr. Gaunt also can put movies on his ipod, so I might watch a movie too. The other BIG motivator this week is that the new season of Biggest Loser starts TOMORROW! Woop Woop! I love that they roll these season out back to back, its awesome! This season is couples, so it should be fun! Make sure you watch it!

I was talking to my friend Jason today and he mentioned how he is doing the BOLDER BOULDER this year. For those who don’t know the BOLDER BOULDER is a 10k race or walk through the heart of Boulder Colorado and CU stadium. I use to work in Boulder and once a year they would close some of the streets to do this race. I of course NEVER participated, but this year I think I might make it a little challenge! No I have no plans to run this, I am NOT a runner. I hate running in fact. Running does nothing but point out how out of shape I am, how crappy my lungs are, tight my calves, are and bouncy my boobs are. Running is lame! Although I would LOVE to be a runner, I really can’t see this ever happening. However I am more than content to walk (fast) with maybe a splash of jogging for this 10k. In case you’re like me and have never done any kind of “K” a 10k is about 6.2 miles….I can do that…maybe. So obviously I’m gonna do a bit of training on this one, no sense in killing myself by not being prepared!

The race is memorial day weekend, which is perfect for so many reasons!

1. Not too hot, not too cold.

2. The race is May 31st, one day after my brother’s birthday, so this weekend has always felt special.

3. I am hoping to have lost 100lbs by May 4th, so training for this will be PERFECT timing to kick my weight loss into overdrive.

4. I still have 21 weeks to get my ass in shape!

So I’m pretty stoked about this! And to really motivate myself I’m going to register Mr. Gaunt and I next pay-day, thats $84 for the two of us…I dont want to waste $84! I have also decided to add a little side bar thingy over there ———–> to track how long it takes me weekly to do a mile! Hopefully I can shave some time off every week!

Ok so thats about it. I’m going to hit the gym tonight and record my first mile on the treadmill!

The Biggest Loser WHAT WHAT!

I so heart The Biggest Loser! I missed two episodes (one being the “where are they now” episode)  so I watched them today, and my lord is that show so so so inspiring! I guess the one thing I struggle with is the working out. 6 months later and 60lbs lost and I STILL have not gotten into a workout routine. Pro who has done this with me the whole time made a comment a few weeks ago “I cant believe you have lost so much weight without really working out!” And I know! Its kind of absurd. Obviously my eating was shit before so just changing my diet has been enough to drop weight, but I want to be physically fit! I look at the Losers from seasons past and they are all so strong and muscular and most of them are now working in the physicall fitness field. Me…nope. I want to be stronger and I want to be able to run, but I suck at it. I dont even really try to put in effort. I fail.

At first I felt like my weight was what was holding me back from working out, thinking if I lost weight working out would be easier. It isnt. It’s just one of those things, like laundry, and money, that I just lack motivation to get done. Ugg.

Im suppose to go to weigh in on Monday night, I would love to minimum lose enough to actually it my 60lbs, but would lov for it to be a little more. Mr. Gaunt rented the new Wii Fit Plus for us to try out (this one will actually tell you how many calories you burn) so maybe I can get back into that. My scale uts me about 11 pounds away from my January 1st goal of losing 75lbs, and I would love love love to see that goal reached on my scale for the new year. I feel like I can make it happen, even if Weight Watchers scale doesnt quite show it. 75lbs lost in 8 months will still be an amazing amount! 100lbs in a year will be even better. I just need to stay focused. I talked to Mr. Gaunt’s mom today about food on Christmas and we both agreed that we will do all healthy stuff for christmas and NO baking! Ha! O enough rambling. I  need to go wash all my dishes!

Biggest Loser and Two Workouts in One Day!

So Im on my Wii Fit in the AM kick, but tonight after watching the season premier of Biggest Loser Season 8 I actually drug my ass to 24 hour fitness to get in my second workout of the day! Woo hoo! Im stoked that BL is back on and is going to motivated me to work my ass off to get to 50lbs lost and then to my goal weight! The last month has been super hard on me, Ive had at least 4 total meltdowns in the “Im sooooo Fat” category. Its like now Ive been at this weight for long enough, the joy of getting here has worn off and now I can see that Im still nowhere near my goal. I am NOT happy at this weight, at the way I look, at the size of my clothes, at my physical ability. I need to push through this and not just give in or claim Im doing everything I can, because Im not! I could be eating even healthier and working out even more! I know some people might think its crazy to get so worked up over something like this, to get so obsessed, but this is my dream! I have wanted this for as long as I can remember, to be an average size, to look not just cute, but hot! And this is the most motivated and hardest I have ever worked at something, and I WONT settle for anything else but goal weight. I wont!

BiggestLoserLogo

Ok ok so maybe BL got to me a little tonight (yes I cried at least 5 times! But seriously did you hear Abby’s story?) but you know what my sister in law was really inspired by BL a while back, and she worked her ass off at the gym and lost 80 (correct me if Im wrong Ash) pounds! So you know what? I can do this too!

The other day at work I was working the front door and a thin woman walked in, and my coworker who is in her late forties and a little heavy (but not as heavy as me, plus she is really short) comes over to me and says “Ugg dont you hate skinny people?” Now first off comments like these are made to me all the time in that “we are both in the chubby girls club” its like women see me and think “Oh theres a girl who can relate to my weight problems because she is fat too!” I usually just laugh or agree or whatever, but inside Im thinking 1. How freaking rude are you? Maybe I dont want to be in your Chubby Girls Club!   2. I hardly know you, its not like Im wearing a damn Broncos Jersey and we can bond over our love of football! I cant take this fat off at the end of the day!    3. NO I DO NOT HATE SKINNY PEOPLE  (duh see the name of my blog) I actually love them! I either lover their god given genetics and have nothing but jealousy for them, or I love and respect their dedication to staying in shape! Overall I cant wait until one day people dont include me automatically in this club, because unless I have made some comment about my own weight, your comments are un welcome!

So moving on, Im off to bed to snug Mr. Gaunt so I can go to sleep and wake up and work out again! Sweet dreams blog world, and feel skinnier in the morning.