Mothers Day 2012

Happy Mothers Day!

It seems everyone I know is pregnant right now, which is not true, I really only know like 5 pregnant people right now, but still, it’s a lot of moms-to-be! Also three of the bloggers I read daily are also pregnant, so I think it’s just in the air.

We had such a lovely mothers day this year! It was actually the first time Mr. Gaunt and I hosted a dinner that wasn’t just my mom and siblings. My grandparents came up for the afternoon too, which was really cool. My grandparents are really awesome people with lots of really great skills. They can cook better than anyone I know (my grandpa is a professional BBQ and they owned restaurants for years) so getting the opportunity to make a meal for them was kind of exciting. The house and yard also look really awesome right now (if I do say so myself) and with prefect weather and a perfect cat, the day was splendid! I felt like such a grown up. I can’t wait until we have kids and can have birthday parties and other fun holiday celebrations at our house.

Mr. Gaunt did all the grilling today, while mom and I made salad, potato salad, asparagus, sangria, chocolate cover strawberries, and garlic bread. Yum. We really know how to eat.

This first photo is really awesome. It’s me and my mom and my grandma, I think it’s the only three generation photo I have, all we need now is a baby (I know I’m starting to sound baby crazy!). We all look so similar, and blonde…lol!

Mr. Gaunt cooked his first Salmon, and we also did steak kabobs and Asparagus on the grill.

My mom bought me that cute cherry tablecloth at a thrift store in Portland, and today she made a quick stop at Kmart where they had flat sheets on clearance for $5, so that’s what that green one is. Who knew a flat twin sheet fit a 6′ card table so well?

My Fur Baby was extra sweet all day too!

Tomorrow its back to work. My back is a bit sore tonight from cleaning, gardening, moving the lawns and cooking all day. Lordy. It’s also back to the gym this week. We took all of last week off from the gym and worked out outside in the nice weather.  This coming week is supposed to be pretty darn nice too, but we paid for the membership so we rally should use it. It’s just so much nicer, and we work out so much longer outside. Oh well. I’m a little sun burnt too.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL, especially my awesome mom.

Mothers Day Giveaway: J+M design

To celebrate the re-opening of our Etsy Shop J+M design we have decided to do our FIRST GIVEAWAY! Exciting, I know.

We are also BIG fans of Moms around here, so this is sort of a Mothers Day giveaway too!

Ok here are the rules:

The winner of this giveaway will receive one Free 16″ x 20″ Custom Stencil Portrait (shipped to anywhere in the US)

The winner must follow all of the guidelines from our Etsy Shop read HERE. As well as provide us with a photo to stencil.

HERE’S HOW TO ENTER:

Leave a comment below (must put an email address) telling us who you would give this to (its fine to say yourself!)

ADDITIONAL ENTRYS (you may leave an additional comment for each of the following) by:

-LIKE our Facebook Page HERE

-HEART our Etsy Shop HERE

-Leave a post on your own Facebook page linking back to this giveaway!

A winner will be picked using random.org on APRIL 22nd at Midnight West Coast time!

 

Still this fat.

GAP: Shirt $4.99 Pants $11.99

Yesterday I went to the Gap to browse their Clearance, I don’t even bother looking at the regular or Sale priced items…I just want Clearance. I really love the gap, well occasionally they have a bad season, but who doesn’t?  As I was trying on clothes, I really got to thinking about what exactly my style of clothing is, and how I feel about my body.

Old Navy $15

I have found it a little confusing to shop these days. For one thing, I was really hoping to weigh 25 pounds less right now (although I’m never quite sure I would even be happy there) and my body is sort of awkward. technically I am smaller than I was in highschool, but I would not say my body is the same. Unfortunately my skin isn’t quite as elastic as one would hope, and everything is sort of…soft. I’d say my legs, upper arms, and torso are the worst culprits.  And now when I want to wear a skirt and tank top, it’s all I can do to not sit there and poke and jiggle my saggy arms. Sure that skirt looks ok standing there, but sit down and the thighs are dimpled.

I tried on a bathing suit at Target the other day and wanted to cry (bathing suit shopping is the devil!). My legs LOOK like they have lost weight. No I don’t mean smaller, I mean they look like if you deflated a balloon and the rubber never really returned to its original size, sliding, sagging, puckering. Now I’m on the hunt for some sort of skirt like bathing suit, I don’t even care if it’s the Grandma Style!

My friend Jason wanted me and Mr. Gaunt to go with him to a water slide park this summer with his new TINY girlfriend. I told him I didn’t like water parks (which is tough to say because I havent been to one in 10+ years) but really in my head I was thinking Yeah right! I would rather chew off my own face than stand next to your 5’2″ 100 lb girlfriend in her tiny bikini! NO THANKS! It’s tough to say whether he would even care about my not so adorable bathing suit body. But I care.

I’ve had a few major self esteem meltdowns recently. More than I have had in a long time. I had a co-worker tell me recently how he HATES FAT PEOPLE because they are lazy, and if he ever started to gain any weight he would just work out. He told this to me in a way that meant Don’t you agree? And I stood there thinking, does he not think I am fat (although I have many times seen him point at girls smaller than me and claim they are too chunky) or is he secretly trying to tell me he hates me (I kind of think we are friends)  or does he just not think before he speaks. Its like when you hear people spew a “weight” without thinking: “Yeah, and this girl probably weighed like 200 pounds, she was HUGE” and you are standing there, weighing 200 lbs and you think: Oh really, was she as huge as me?

I know some people are just stupid and ignorant about weight issues, especially ones that have never dealt with any. But its hard to be around them, its hard to feel like everyone isnt judging you all the time. Its hard not to feel like the fattest person in the room.

I want to be proud of the weight I have lost, but I find myself avoiding telling people that I lost weight. Ashamed that I was once that size. Ashamed to say “I lost 75lbs, and yes I’m STILL this fat”

And my friends who have also lost weight, who are smaller than me and STILL not happy with themselves. I don’t want to be the fattest person I know, but you have got to stop obsessing! Please be happy with who you are! Please don’t use me as your self esteem booster, look I get to pass my fat pants on to Morgan. I’m trying so hard to love myself and be ok.

Mom and Me

And I miss my mom and my friends terribly. My mom has never in a million years made me feel anything but perfect, and no one has rooted harder for me during my weight loss. Being with her makes me feel beautiful and normal. And my dear friends who I stand next to and feel comfortable with myself, even the ones that are smaller than me. Who all say such sweet things to me, and would never let stupid things slip out of their mouths about my weight. Girls that I would stand next to in a bathing suit, even if I know they look better than me.

I miss that love and support. I wish I could be with them. I wish I could feel ok about myself. I wish I didn’t work with idiots. I wish I was with my mom and this Mother’s Day. I hope she knows how much she means to me.