Fat Pants

I have made the decision that when I get paid next friday I am going to buy some fat pants.

Not really FAT pants, more like FIT pants, I’m thinking a denim with a little stretch. Right now I have too many “goal” pants and not any “now” pants. This makes things like…oh say…getting dressed very difficult. I did it to myself, I got all cocky and threw away all my pants that were a little big thinking I would be a down a size by now…lol! Nope, not down, and now no pants that fit.

I have put on a good 5 pounds in the last month…ha…go me! It’s what I do, gain 10 lose 10. But right now I have a plate piled to the ceiling with shit I have to worry about, that stepping on the scale is NOT one of them. I have all kinds of lofty goals to get in a little better shape this summer, but right now I need to focus on surviving the next 3 weeks.

So wish me luck on my hunt for new pants! And my move, and job hunting, and not killing my fiance….cheers!

Bad GENES for good JEANS

My friend Kelli sent me this link on Downsizing/purging clothing. Like the woman in the article I too am a regular purger of clothing. I probably own less than 10 items that are over a year old. I get rid of clothing all the time.

However after I read what she kept it got me thinking about my own wardrobe. She KEPT 10 pairs of jeans. Now I currently own 5 pairs of jeans. I hate all 5 pairs, here is a recap of those 5 pairs:

1 Pair of gap Jeans (used) that fit if I’m standing up, but if I’m sitting down they have about 3 inches of extra room in the back, and are about 3″ too tight in the front. I can only wear them if I have not eaten much, and do not plan to eat later. They are also about 2″ too long, so I cuff them.

1 Pair of mens American Eagle Jeans (used) that fit perfect in the legs, but are about 15 pounds away from fitting in the waist. I have not put them on since I bought them a month ago. They are my goal pants.

1 pair of Torrid Jeans (used) that fit perfect in the waist (except the waist band is thick and does not lay flat when I layer a long shirt over it) and fit very nice in the butt. The legs are a bit too flared for me, and they are DEFINITELY an inch or two too shor, which makes them only ok in flats or flip flops, therefor I rarely wear them in the winter.

1 pair of Old Navy Boot Cut Jeans (new) these are SKINNNNNN tight on the claves. They are the only jeans that fit the front of my waist but not the back (a good 4″ too big, I cant even wear a belt with them as too much fabric bunches in the back) I also hate the color a lot, very BLUE. However I would rather my calves look like sausages then my waist look like a muffin.

1 Pair of Old Navy Bot cut jeans in a size 14 (new) these are also skin tight, like SUPER tight as I am not really a size 14. However they are dark denim, and if I wear spanx and don’t eat they look like nice going-out pants. I havent worn them in at least 9 months.

So there you have it! 5 pairs of jeans that all make me cry almost every time I put them on! Literally, I burst into tears before ripping them off my body…)=

I’m sure you are wondering what other pants I have. I have ONE other pair of pants, that I wear to work. They are a brown/khaki cargo type pant with a “sweat pant” waist band. They fit nicely (although I have caught a glimpse of my ass in the mirror, and they are not too kind to it) but they are super ugly and make me feel extra ugly when I wear them….40 hours a week.

There is so much in the world that is unfair, but the fact that I worked really hard to lose 75 pounds and I still (a) dont fit in a normal size, and (b) do not have a single pair of pants that make me feel good about myself, might be the MOST unfair thing of all.

I should really learn to sew my own pants. Can I just be a hippie and wear skirts and yoga pants year round?

Le sigh.



Pants and Weight Loss

First off let me just say that they should REALLY make the inner thigh of women’s jeans a little bit thicker. I know even skinny girls whose thighs touch + walking = friction. And everyone knows friction equals DENIM DEMISE! How many pairs of jeans have been in perfectly good condition until the thighs go out. Lame. On Monday I was peeing (sharing violation) and I looked down and noticed the tell-tale signs of thinning thighs (no not the good thinning of thighs, the bad kind) and I thought to myself….hmm…I bet these will go soon. Tuesday I was climbing up a ladder and had to take a big step up into a shelf to move some mirrors at work (I do weird shit at work) and that’s when I heard it….tear. Yup there goes the thigh on my pants. These were my favorite (and only) work jeans. SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOO LAME.

So today Mr. Gaunt and I went to Kohls (which by the way is the DEVILS store and I completely hate it, and wouldn’t ever shop there except they sent me a $10 gift card in the mail) to hunt for work pants. Which brings me to todays topic:


Oh how I hate them. They are uncomfortable, unflattering and unpleasant!

-Jeans are always cute when you first put them on, but then they sag and fade and look like crap. Stretch denim SEEMS like your friend, but it’s not. Stretch denim is comfortable but almost always looks like total crap after 10 washings. All stretched out and overly crotchy….yuck.

-I wear dress pants (with slight stretch) at Job numero 2, and I actually like them the most. They are black and have kind of a wide leg.  However I can’t wear dress pants at my real job.

-Then there is that weird range of khaki/cargo/casual pants. These are just as bad. They are usually not stretch and are just stiff at the waist and unflattering and do that ugly wrinkle thing at the top where your thigh meets your hip.

The other thing I HATE about pants is the style now a days! In case you were unaware I have HUGE thighs and calves…HUGE. And you know, I’ve actually come to accept that no matter how thin I am I will always have big thighs. Which is kind of ok. My legs are very strong, so that’s good. But really they do not fit in any pants unless they are wide trouser style or a flare. And apparently flair is out! What? WHY!!!!! I love my flair jeans! Now all they make are bootcut.


For me bootcut jeans are SKIN tight on the calf, baggy on the knee cap and then tight on the thigh. They do not go down my leg gracefully into a nice fabric pool around my shoe. No they are HORRIFIC! I hate bootcut. And don’t even get me started on a  skinny jean!

Why cants I wear Yoga pants all the time?

So back at Kohls I tried on probably 10 paris of pants and hated them all. Like HATED them. Finally I settled on a cargo/casual light brown pant with kind of sweatpants waste band…lol! I usually don’t require and elastic waist, but at work I’m up and down ladders, crawling into shelves, and spend probably 50% of my day on my knees on the floor. I’m constantly bent over, and a tight or stiff waist band can ruin my day. I wish so bad that I could just wear yoga pants at work all day….lol. You know how they made denim looking leggings (Jeggings) well they should make a denim looking yoga pant (Jega?) I would buy stock in those!

Also trying on all the pants made me realize (once again) how Id really like to lose the rest of this weight. So so much. I was also thinking that I have about 10 month until my wedding and how if I could lose 5 pounds a month then I would really be down to my ideal weight by the wedding. This would make me feel so good. I wish I could just make it happen. I mean I really wish I didn’t care, but I know I do. I wish I didn’t worry about it so much, but I do. I wish that I could just get back into a roll and that it would happen as easily as the first 75 pounds.

I havent gone out or dresses up in a while, and I think the day-to-day of wearing ugly work clothes and coming home and putting on pajamas is really getting to me. I need a reason to look nice. I feel better when I can wear cute things. I miss my girlfriends. Oh I’m just in a mood. Bad shopping trips always put me in a mood.




The End of Summer Nights

One of my last weekends off, Mr. Gaunt and I enjoyed the summer night by shopping for underwear and jeans, buying fall candles and eating yummy food at Water Course. The evening was warm with just a sprinkle of rain while we drove around the neighborhoods of Denver. Summer will be coming to an end soon and fall will come in strong. We have plans to see the Aspens this fall and do lots of pumpkin carving and cider sipping. I even just bought the Halloween issue of Martha Stewart!

And to end this post a few pictures from the evening..


A rare good picture of Mr.Gaunt, eyes open and everything!

A rare good picture of Mr.Gaunt, eyes open and everything!



Thai Peanut Tofu Stir fry

Thai Peanut Tofu Stir fry


Veggie Nachos

Veggie Nachos


New Jeans! I dont mean to brag but they make my waist look small and my ass look bangin! For $14 how could I not?

New Jeans! I dont mean to brag but they make my waist look small and my ass look bangin! For $14 how could I not?