Why Costco Pizza makes me hate my job.

Here is a little story from today.

First let me add this little tidbit that isn’t really related, but is kinda a lot related:

At my job we get health insurance. Every year they offer this “Health Assessment discount” of $25 per month if you fill out this little healthy living survey. Well this year they are taking it a step further and actually requiring you to have a REAL health assessment.  They will test your blood pressure and glucose and all that stuff. PLUS for men you must have a waist line smaller than 40″ and for women I think its 35″. Here is the kicker. They are going to give everyone 6 months to “fix” any health issues, and if you don’t (or can’t) fix it in 6 months you not only lose your $25 discount, but you have to pay back the last 6 months of discount you received. Awesome huh.

So on to todays story.

About a month ago, due to some major sales we had on Black Friday, corporate gave our team (and all stores) a large chunk of “fun money” to use over the holidays in whatever way we want. Lots of teams took this money to add-on to their Xmas parties, but we had already paid for ours so we didn’t do that. Wanna know what management decided to do with it????

Wait for it….

FEED US COMPLETE FATTY SHIT FOR A WHOLE MONTH!!!!!!

Isnt that fantastic!

I’m talking donuts twice a week.

I’m talking breakfast burritos

And today…dun dun dun…they ordered COSTCO PIZZA for the team.

I understand some people might think this is just fantastic, me….not so much. In fact its been darn right HELLISH. See it’s not like they buy donuts and throw em in the break room for people to grab as they please, nope. They wait until we have mandatory staff meetings to throw them down in the middle of the table, so you are stuck there sitting in front a 3 or 4 boxes of donuts. And you get to spend 45 minutes watching everyone eat one…or two…or three. Oh don’t worry, they provide milk to wash em down too.

Yeah lovely.

So I give myself MAD PROPS for managing to turn down 4 donut days and 1 breakfast burrito day.

Today however was Pizza day. I had already made the decision to NOT eat pizza, but for shits and giggles I decided to look up the nutritional information…are yah ready:

This is the nutritional information for ONE, I repeat ONE slice of Costco Cheese Pizza. You can actually find all of their food court info here. Prior to having this information, Mr. Gaunt and I guessed what a slice would be…400 calories? 500 max! Umm…we were a bit off. Incase you need me to HIGHLIGHT some of that…notice that there is 102% of your daily Saturated fat needs…umm…I wasnt aware we NEEDED any saturated fat.

So Mr. Gaunt and I, and our friend Drew sat in our car on break and discussed. Both boys REALLY wanted pizza, they had both planned to eat a least 1 slice. With the new information they had, both were feeling very conflicted. In the end we all talked about the pros and cons of eating it, and I told them this:

IF I AM OLD ENOUGH TO PAY FOR MY OWN HEALTH INSURANCE, THEN I AM OLD ENOUGH TO PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I AM EATING!

And that was that. We all agreed to be strong and to say NO! Not only is it not right to eat that, we don’t even think it should be right to sell that stuff to people! Outrageous! We also decided it was important to print out the nutritional info and post it in the break room next to the pizza so that others could be informed too. This was not to make people feel bad, it was to give them the knowledge to make the best choice for them.

Well, in the end everyone read it, and no one gave a shit. There were very overweight people who consumed upwards of FIVE slices. Oh did you need me to do the math for yah?

That is over FOUR THOUSAND Calories in like 20 minutes!

And the worst part was, after they were all putting themselves into a fatty-coma, they came and bugged the three of us about why we didn’t eat pizza, OVER AND OVER! It was non stop jokes and harassment all afternoon.

And this my friends is just another reason why I need to quit this job.

Which all ties back to that little health assessment. Seems to me that feeding your employees thousands of calories in GARBAGE is not a great way to get them healthy, or maybe that’s the point?

I’m just glad that I am choosing to NOT live in ignorant bliss. And I’m glad to have partner in life that supports that too.

 

 

Still this fat.

GAP: Shirt $4.99 Pants $11.99

Yesterday I went to the Gap to browse their Clearance, I don’t even bother looking at the regular or Sale priced items…I just want Clearance. I really love the gap, well occasionally they have a bad season, but who doesn’t?  As I was trying on clothes, I really got to thinking about what exactly my style of clothing is, and how I feel about my body.

Old Navy $15

I have found it a little confusing to shop these days. For one thing, I was really hoping to weigh 25 pounds less right now (although I’m never quite sure I would even be happy there) and my body is sort of awkward. technically I am smaller than I was in highschool, but I would not say my body is the same. Unfortunately my skin isn’t quite as elastic as one would hope, and everything is sort of…soft. I’d say my legs, upper arms, and torso are the worst culprits.  And now when I want to wear a skirt and tank top, it’s all I can do to not sit there and poke and jiggle my saggy arms. Sure that skirt looks ok standing there, but sit down and the thighs are dimpled.

I tried on a bathing suit at Target the other day and wanted to cry (bathing suit shopping is the devil!). My legs LOOK like they have lost weight. No I don’t mean smaller, I mean they look like if you deflated a balloon and the rubber never really returned to its original size, sliding, sagging, puckering. Now I’m on the hunt for some sort of skirt like bathing suit, I don’t even care if it’s the Grandma Style!

My friend Jason wanted me and Mr. Gaunt to go with him to a water slide park this summer with his new TINY girlfriend. I told him I didn’t like water parks (which is tough to say because I havent been to one in 10+ years) but really in my head I was thinking Yeah right! I would rather chew off my own face than stand next to your 5’2″ 100 lb girlfriend in her tiny bikini! NO THANKS! It’s tough to say whether he would even care about my not so adorable bathing suit body. But I care.

I’ve had a few major self esteem meltdowns recently. More than I have had in a long time. I had a co-worker tell me recently how he HATES FAT PEOPLE because they are lazy, and if he ever started to gain any weight he would just work out. He told this to me in a way that meant Don’t you agree? And I stood there thinking, does he not think I am fat (although I have many times seen him point at girls smaller than me and claim they are too chunky) or is he secretly trying to tell me he hates me (I kind of think we are friends)  or does he just not think before he speaks. Its like when you hear people spew a “weight” without thinking: “Yeah, and this girl probably weighed like 200 pounds, she was HUGE” and you are standing there, weighing 200 lbs and you think: Oh really, was she as huge as me?

I know some people are just stupid and ignorant about weight issues, especially ones that have never dealt with any. But its hard to be around them, its hard to feel like everyone isnt judging you all the time. Its hard not to feel like the fattest person in the room.

I want to be proud of the weight I have lost, but I find myself avoiding telling people that I lost weight. Ashamed that I was once that size. Ashamed to say “I lost 75lbs, and yes I’m STILL this fat”

And my friends who have also lost weight, who are smaller than me and STILL not happy with themselves. I don’t want to be the fattest person I know, but you have got to stop obsessing! Please be happy with who you are! Please don’t use me as your self esteem booster, look I get to pass my fat pants on to Morgan. I’m trying so hard to love myself and be ok.

Mom and Me

And I miss my mom and my friends terribly. My mom has never in a million years made me feel anything but perfect, and no one has rooted harder for me during my weight loss. Being with her makes me feel beautiful and normal. And my dear friends who I stand next to and feel comfortable with myself, even the ones that are smaller than me. Who all say such sweet things to me, and would never let stupid things slip out of their mouths about my weight. Girls that I would stand next to in a bathing suit, even if I know they look better than me.

I miss that love and support. I wish I could be with them. I wish I could feel ok about myself. I wish I didn’t work with idiots. I wish I was with my mom and this Mother’s Day. I hope she knows how much she means to me.

Weekend Meals

POACHED EGGS & TOAST : Protein (22g) Fiber (4g) Calories (242) Fat (11)

MACARONI & CHEESE : Protein (18g) Fiber (10g) Calories (309) Fat (6g)

SALMON DINNER : Protein (47g) Fiber (11g) Calories (582) Fat (23)

DAILY NUTRITION CONSUMED: (please note I only counted the large food and did not count oils, seasonings, and drinks)

CALORIES: 1133  DAILY REQUIRED: 2000

PROTEIN: 87 grams  DAILY REQUIRED: 46

FIBER: 25 grams DAILY REQUIRED: 25-30

FAT: 40 grams DAILY REQUIREMENTS : 65

These werent actually eaten in one day, they are parts of two days meals. The above chart also does not include any snacks or beverages I consumed. This is just a good way to show you what kind of nutrition my main meals have.

Looking at this though, it shows that I am in fact lacking in FRUIT! Grrr I cant wait for summer! Today I am planning on getting a big bag of Grapefruit and peeling them all and putting them in Mason Jars to eat throughout the week. I love fruit, and I get sad when I don’t have it. Other than that each meals includes Whole Grains (the toast, the Orzo, The macaroni) and a healthy Protein (Organic Eggs, Low fat turkey Sausage, salmon) I also managed to get veggies in two of the dishes (Kale in the Mac-n-cheese and Asparagus).

Obviously all the meals do include carbs.  I usually do at least one meal a day without carbs, but the carbs were all whole wheat. The Mac-n-cheese is a “were too lazy to cook and we want comfort food” meal for Mr. Gaunt and I. I get the Back To Nature 100% Whole Wheat macaroni and White Cheddar at Sunflower market or Whole Foods. We almost always add a lean chicken sausage to give us a little protein, and yesterday I chopped up some kale and threw that in (I’m pretty much convinced you can throw Kale in anything). As soon as I did this (added the Kale) it got me thinking about Kids and feeding them vegetables. Teaching my children good nutrition is really important to me, and I plan on doing a post on this at a later date.

The Salmon is also a new thing. I have been purchasing Tilapia because its cheap and easy and lower in fat, but have recently heard poor reviews on its nutritional values. As a kid growing up in Washington I was always the odd man out because I hated Salmon and people cook a ton of it there. As I’ve gotten older my taste buds have changed greatly and now I really like Salmon. The cost is a lot higher (almost twice as much) for frozen Salmon Filets at Costco versus Tilapia, but investing in my health is what this year is all about! So Mr. Gaunt and I bought the Salmon and we attempted to grill it (on our cooktop grill) last night. Things started out well but then flipping the steaks caused them to break apart, so Mr. Gaunt just chopped them all up. It was actually quite yummy because it has a bunch of crispy parts. We put it on a bed of Orzo with some sesame asparagus, delish.

Anyway I just wanted to show some good healthy meals that are pretty damn easy if I do say so myself. Now Im off to get Grapefruit!