Myself, Mypaint

The house is slowly but surely getting packed up.

I had my last therapy session yesterday. Paul (my therapist) has shown much concern over my recent struggles with depression and self-hatred. We have been working on things that can help me cope. With the move coming, we made plans for how I will continue my therapy in Washington.

Paul thinks I should find a personal counselor in Washington. This of course depends on budget and such, but I may look into it.  We talked a bit about how excited I was about all the new stuff that will be going on in our lives, and Paul says:

“You Know, you will be taking MORGAN to Washington too”

Meaning, it might look different, and feel different, but in the end, I am still me, and me and all my troubles will be traveling with us. Despite the initial excitement of change, I will have to face the fact that Washington will not cure me. That I am someone who struggles with my emotions and that I will need to watch myself. I will need to make honest efforts to change my behavior and my mood.

There are two BIG things that I am planning on working on.

1. Physical Fitness.

2. Social Interactions

I have struggled for years with both of these things, but I am genuinely committed to changing my patterns. It is whats best for  me and whats best for my relationship. So despite the uncomfortableness of both of those things, they are important. That’s about all I have to say about that for now.

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In house news, we found out that our new lanlords are doing a  smidge of remodeling to our little house! There are whispers of new bathtubs, and re-finished wood floors….eeek!

Mr. Gaunt and I are going to pick out paint colors before I leave so we can make sure furniture doesnt clash. I plan to do all the painting in the month we are apart, but I wont have our furniture to compare it to, so we brought swatches home.

The hard thing with paint is that I currently LOVE our paint colors, but I MUST have change. Seriously. I’m just that kind of person, I need a fresh start. So that eliminates ALL grey-blue/periwinkles…buh bye. I love grey though, so I am switching it up a bit and doing warmer Grey…what the design world likes to call…

GREIGE (Grey+beige)

I’m also doing a super fun Peach laundry room/mud room, and a mustard in the bedroom! I know…color me crazy! I’m pretty stoked! Pictures for your inspiring mind:

 

DREAM WEDDING CAKE

 

That last one is just my dream wedding cake, it just happens to be in my color scheme too.  We also sold enough unwanted furniture to get some new items! I’m excited to find some new (used) stuff! Mom and I will need to do some thrifting!

 

A Skinny Dress and Couples Therapy!

So my lovely Pro has been more or less two sizes smaller than me throughout our weight loss journey. This has been a huge PLUS because that means she gives me her pants that she grows out of just in time for me to start shrinking into them.  Pro (that skinny bitch!) decided to skip a whole size recently so now there are no pants for me to work into…damn you Pro! When I started my weight loss journey I had a fair amount of SKINNY CLOTHES that I needed to shrink into (my New York Dress FITS! My Red Pea Coat FITS!) but now I can fit into all of them and most of them are too big. At this point I have nothing really to shrink into (Kelli if you are reading this, save any pants you have and give them to me in March when I come!) so I’m lacking in motivation.  I actually heard on the radio around Christmas time, that reasearch shows the best way for women to lose weight is to buy an outfit in a smaller size. You see I LOVE LOVE LOVE clothes! It’s probably my biggest motivation in Weight loss, fitting into more clothes! I would be a crazy Lindsey Lohan Clothing Hoarder if I could!

Tonight Mr. Gaunt and I went to Savers and I found the perfect SKINNY dress! It is actually…..hold your breath….a size ELEVEN! Yes that is right 11! I case you didn’t know, I do NOT wear an eleven! In fact a size 10 is my goal size, so eleven sounds pretty damn good. The dress currently kind of fits, but its tight, too tight to wear in public….panty lines anyone? I would love for this dress to fit comfortably this summer, its perfect for Mr. Gaunt and I’s July photo shoot! When I put it on the first thing Mr. Gaunt said was “Its kind of like a casual wedding dress” which it is, in a beachy sort of way. I really love it.

So that is my current goal, to make this dress fit!

In other news Mr. Gaunt and I have decided to go to couples therapy! Why you ask? Are we having problems? Well no not really, but there are definitely things we could stand to work on. The last year has definitely been our best year yet, but there are definitely the occasional communication struggles. Also Mr. Gaunt and I plan to get married in the near-ish future, and I want to make sure we are discussing the right things: Kids, Raising a family, jobs, roles…etc. So that when we are married we don’t suddenly realize we have completely different ideas on how things should go. Anyway we are actually going to a therapist that Mr. Gaunt and his mom have both gone to a lot in the past (although not in a few years) this pleases me because he will already know a lot about Mr. Gaunt’s family dynamic and his relationship with his mom. I’ve never been to therapy, but I sure do love to talk about myslef…ha! So we have a tentative appoint for next thursday. I will keep you updated on how this goes!

Oh and I leave you with some dresses that were cute but I didnt purchase.