Curve Appeal

This is my new favorite blog/tumblr. It pretty much makes me feel fantastic. I am totally under the impression that I may not be able to lose a single pound before my wedding. I am doing my best to just be ok with this. I’m pretty sure all of my friends and family (although some may secretly deep down wish I would lose more weight) will still love me and think I look nice at this size.

Being this size does not mean I am lazy, or careless with my health. This is what I got to work with, and I’m a good person despite my physical flaws. I tell myself this every day, I’m trying to believe, every day.

And yes, I would look better 50 pounds thinner, but I have some serious self esteem healing that needs to happen before that.  I wish I could lose the weight on my heart and be someone who can just love themselves as they are. I wish it was easier to trust Mr. Gaunt when he says I look nice, or photos that make me look thinner, and not just assume they are both an illusion.

There is beauty in the breakdown.

Plus What?

I hate the word “Plus Size” almost as much as I hate “Full figured” “curvy” or “Big girl” gag. These are stupid terms that I hate. I’m actually fine with XXL-XXXXL to describe a size, don’t try to cute it up by saying “Voluptuous” gross.  In my life I have shopped for a lot of “Plus Size” clothing, lots. Its one of the most unpleasant things about not being thin, the clothing. On top of that, I SWEAR I have a body shaped like NO ONE ELSE. Well maybe my mom, she is pretty much shaped just like me (not my sister though). First thing is whenever I see “Plus Size” models, they ALWAYS have thin arms and legs, always. This is so they can make them seem sexier by putting them in some super short tent dress. “LOOK, WE COVERED HER FAT MIDDLE AND CHECK OUT THOSE GAMS!”

I do not (really) have a fat middle. In fact based on my measurements and proportion, my waste is the smallest part of my body. My WASTE is a size 14. HOWEVER I have the hips, thighs, shoulders and arms of a LINEBACKER….

SHORTS BAD!

I don’t even have to wear those pads to make my thighs that big.  Skinny jeans for instance are EVERYWHERE! They encourage fat and skinny girls alike to rock those denim leggings! I however could NEVER wear skinny jeans, ever. My legs look like sausage casings, and its AWFUL. See here is what a “Plus Size” girl is supposed to look like in skinny jeans, and me in skinny jeans…

Ha! See the difference? See my calves trying to burst through those jeans. See the bunching around the knees, the only place where that poor denim can even breathe! That’s not cute! Give me a wide leg trouser STAT!

Also my arms, they are only slightly smaller around than my thighs. My arms also took quite the beating deflating when I lost a bunch of weight. They are ugly from every angle. They sag and bunch and buldge. I like them best in a 3/4 length shirt, its absolutely the most flattering. I have actually perfected the art of taking photos that reduce my arms size by at least 40% I almost feel bad that I have deceived you all into thinking I DIDNT have world largest arms, but I do. Oooh! Here I’ll show you a  few precious “arm” gems!

This photo captures the elbow fat quite nicely!

Good LORD! I dont even know why I'm showing these to you. Here are my beast arms at work on our patio.

This was a few weeks ago when I was stung by a bee. THANKS bee for making my fat arm even fatter!

Mr. Gaunt always catches my "best" features in photos...gag.

So as you can see, I had a good reason for needing a little caplet/cardigan/sleeve with my wedding dress. Most of the time though I do still rock a tshirt or tanktop (and an occasional strapless dress) because who really cares but me. But I do care, and its a never ending struggle in my life, these fat arms of mine.

These are photos of a wedding dress that I actually considered for a minute. I thought it did nice things for my waist. In the end I couldn’t look past the arms/shoulders so I went with a non-strapless dress.

So yeah, this body has its challenges. Not that other bodies don’t, but sometime I think people think that I have a “Skinny” Fat body (mostly due to my smaller waste) but that just isn’t true.

However there is a point to this blog other than pointing out all my flaws…lol! The point is that there are some AMAZINGLY cute plus size clothing out there (if your rich and don’t mid purchasing online) kidding…no…not really. Here are some websites that seem awesome:

-Kiyonna

-Asos

-IGIGI

-Swak Designs

I NEED THEM ALL!

 

 

Shoe-Years Resolution!

Well this obviously wasn’t one of my main New Years Resolutions, but I did make it. This year I decided I want to wear more high heels, well more stylish shoes in general. See I’ve always been a purse gal, I have about a million purses and I love getting more! I think I love them because it doesn’t matter what size you are, a purse always fits. Shoes are a whole nother thing. As far as I can remember I’ve been a size 10, which sounds big, but a lot of  women are right around there.  Since losing weight though my feet have shrunken to about a 9.5 (how the heck does that work?) so some of my old shoes don’t really fit that well. Most of my adult life I have religiously worn flip flops, year-round. I love them! They are cheap and comfy! I also have always had this weird thing where I like a shoes that makes my feet look wider. I know it sounds crazy, but when I would wear tiny shoes (like high heels and even some tennis shoes) that made my feet look narrower I always felt like it made my body look huge in comparison. Wide feet match a wide body! Ha…my own neurosis!

Anyways this year I’m giving it an honest effort to upgrade my shoes and try to wear less flip flops. Here are a few shoes I have acquired over the last month or two:

From Savers

From some trashy shoe store in the mall

From Target

From Plato's Closet