I Hate New Years Gym Crowds!

I havent been to the gym since the New Year because I know it’s gonna be packed full of people pumping iron for their resolutions…ugg. I hate a crowded gym, well I hate any gym….ha!

I belong to 24 Hour Fitness but I never go because I am LAME and come up with THOUSANDS of excuses not to go. Recently they involve the gym being too crowded and me being too cold to go. Today’s main excuse is because I started my period and don’t wanna go workout, but I’m going to! I swear I really am! I need to lose 7 more pounds by the thirteenth and the weight isn’t falling off so I have ot go run it off! Ugg.

I’ve decided I need a little Gym motivation though, so tonight I’m going to make a 1 hour playlist on Mr. Gaunt’s ipod so I can just run until the playlist is over. Helps with time going by. Mr. Gaunt also can put movies on his ipod, so I might watch a movie too. The other BIG motivator this week is that the new season of Biggest Loser starts TOMORROW! Woop Woop! I love that they roll these season out back to back, its awesome! This season is couples, so it should be fun! Make sure you watch it!

I was talking to my friend Jason today and he mentioned how he is doing the BOLDER BOULDER this year. For those who don’t know the BOLDER BOULDER is a 10k race or walk through the heart of Boulder Colorado and CU stadium. I use to work in Boulder and once a year they would close some of the streets to do this race. I of course NEVER participated, but this year I think I might make it a little challenge! No I have no plans to run this, I am NOT a runner. I hate running in fact. Running does nothing but point out how out of shape I am, how crappy my lungs are, tight my calves, are and bouncy my boobs are. Running is lame! Although I would LOVE to be a runner, I really can’t see this ever happening. However I am more than content to walk (fast) with maybe a splash of jogging for this 10k. In case you’re like me and have never done any kind of “K” a 10k is about 6.2 miles….I can do that…maybe. So obviously I’m gonna do a bit of training on this one, no sense in killing myself by not being prepared!

The race is memorial day weekend, which is perfect for so many reasons!

1. Not too hot, not too cold.

2. The race is May 31st, one day after my brother’s birthday, so this weekend has always felt special.

3. I am hoping to have lost 100lbs by May 4th, so training for this will be PERFECT timing to kick my weight loss into overdrive.

4. I still have 21 weeks to get my ass in shape!

So I’m pretty stoked about this! And to really motivate myself I’m going to register Mr. Gaunt and I next pay-day, thats $84 for the two of us…I dont want to waste $84! I have also decided to add a little side bar thingy over there ———–> to track how long it takes me weekly to do a mile! Hopefully I can shave some time off every week!

Ok so thats about it. I’m going to hit the gym tonight and record my first mile on the treadmill!

Im not Dead…just rashy.

I guess its been a few days since I posted. I skipped weigh-in this week for a few reasons, but the number one being its in the negatives temperature wise and its takes a LOT to get me out of the house. No way was I gonna pile on the layers to go weigh in…bleh. Which is pretty lame of me, but I dont care. I will be going on Monday night this week dont worry.

Ah so the freezing weather is really getting to me, as much as I hate blazing hot weather, I hate this even more! It burns your skin when you go outside, it makes things like walking to the mail box, eating lunch in your car, hell getting up in the morning very difficult. It means we have to close all of our blinds and add extra bedding. Poor Hula loves to sit in the window but can’t with the blinds closed.  It also means that I have developed huge scabby dry patches all over my body! Then today after lunch I went to the bathroom and noticed a red rash had broken out all over my legs! I kind of freaked out and told my supervisor (in tears) that I needed to go home. I put on lots of lotion and washed my bedding and took a Benadryl. Things seem to be looking better, but Im blaming the weather!

I also am very irritated by the short days! It makes me want to crawl in bed at 8 and do nothing! Like right now its 6:15 and I feel like it’s too late to do anything else. Oh and this damn weather has also made poor Hula a giant static ball! You pet her and you get shocked! You can hear the static whenever she rolls around on the couch…crakle crakle crackle.  Needless to say spring can come any time!

Christmas is also just around the corner (two weeks from tomorrow) and I could kind of give a shit. I dont get to go home this year and see my family, and none of them are coming to see me. I dont want to bake (for obvious reasons) which I love to do at the holidays. Money is tight right now so there is no giant pile of presents under the tree. Can I get a Bah Hum Bug? No, for real Im trying to get in the spirit, but I have a feeling Christmas may come and go without me really noticing.  I did make out all of our Christmas cards (a tradition I actually find important to give and receive) last night and plan to mail them tomorrow after work. Mr. Gaunt is away for the evening too so I will probably get all of his gifts wrapped and stuck under the tree.

Oh I watched the season finale of Biggest Loser last night on DVR. HOLY COW! Was that not insane? I couldnt believe how they looked! Both Rudy and Danny just looked killer! And Amanda looked pretty good too.  The only thing that I find a little disturbing was Rebecca (who’s starting weight was 279) at 5’6″ weighed in last night at 140lbs. When they did her Jay Leno update a few weeks ago I believe she was at 160 and she looked AMAZING! Last night however she looked a little too thin. Also Tracey who had dropped about 50% of her starting weight looked a little this as well. Im sure both women are very healthy, and congrats to them for getting it all off, I just hope they find a happy weight that they can maintain. It also showed me the I do NOT want to weigh 140lbs (which for my height at 5’7 with a larger frame is about the lowest I would go) but rather would feel very good at 150-160lbs.

Ok onto something I have been debating a for a while now. As you probably have noticed I have yet to actually say how much I weigh on this blog. I talk about how much I have lost/want to lose, but not how much I actually weigh. I have been carefull not to share %loss as well because I know y’all arent stupid and you could easily do the math. At this point there are two people who actually know my current weight (and what I started at) that it Mr. Gaunt and Pro. Telling both of them was also pretty difficult, but I felt if I wanted their support then they really needed to know all the facts. And of course they were both very loving and supportive and made me feel like it wasnt a big deal…although to me…it was. Now on to my dilemma: Basically I had decided awhile back that I really DO want to share with you what I weigh, and I want to not be superficial and I want to show you that the number doesnt really matter. I told myself that on January 1st 2010 I would finally tell you all what I weighed, what size I wear, what my current measurements are, what I started at…the works. It just makes me nervous. There are a lot of people who read this blog that dont leave comments. Lost of old highschool friends and family members. Men, women, coworkers. Do I really want all of these people to know? And what are they gonna say? “Holy shit she was the size of a house!”? I hate that! I dont want to feel like people are judging me. I dont want them to think of me differently…will they? Will you?

I dont know. Im still building up the guts to do this, we will see. At this point I am so proud of how far I have come thats its not about you knowing what I weigh today, its just about where I let myself get….ugg. Ok so words of encouragement would be great!

Ok Im off to the store and then home to eat chilli! Oh and I swear Im going to do some cooking this week, weve just been doing boring things. The following are on the Menu though:

-Weight Watchers Veggie Lasagna

-Mango-licous Tilapia

-Chicken Sausage Jambalaya

The Biggest Loser WHAT WHAT!

I so heart The Biggest Loser! I missed two episodes (one being the “where are they now” episode)  so I watched them today, and my lord is that show so so so inspiring! I guess the one thing I struggle with is the working out. 6 months later and 60lbs lost and I STILL have not gotten into a workout routine. Pro who has done this with me the whole time made a comment a few weeks ago “I cant believe you have lost so much weight without really working out!” And I know! Its kind of absurd. Obviously my eating was shit before so just changing my diet has been enough to drop weight, but I want to be physically fit! I look at the Losers from seasons past and they are all so strong and muscular and most of them are now working in the physicall fitness field. Me…nope. I want to be stronger and I want to be able to run, but I suck at it. I dont even really try to put in effort. I fail.

At first I felt like my weight was what was holding me back from working out, thinking if I lost weight working out would be easier. It isnt. It’s just one of those things, like laundry, and money, that I just lack motivation to get done. Ugg.

Im suppose to go to weigh in on Monday night, I would love to minimum lose enough to actually it my 60lbs, but would lov for it to be a little more. Mr. Gaunt rented the new Wii Fit Plus for us to try out (this one will actually tell you how many calories you burn) so maybe I can get back into that. My scale uts me about 11 pounds away from my January 1st goal of losing 75lbs, and I would love love love to see that goal reached on my scale for the new year. I feel like I can make it happen, even if Weight Watchers scale doesnt quite show it. 75lbs lost in 8 months will still be an amazing amount! 100lbs in a year will be even better. I just need to stay focused. I talked to Mr. Gaunt’s mom today about food on Christmas and we both agreed that we will do all healthy stuff for christmas and NO baking! Ha! O enough rambling. I  need to go wash all my dishes!

Dear Caramel Apple Pops,

At 60 calories you’re a delish little treat…unless I eat 5 a day for a week. Halloween candy is obviously NOT allowed in this house.

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Tonight’s Biggest loser was a good one, except for crazy bug-eyed Tracy who needs to take about ten chill pills…gross! SPOILER: She totally should have gone home instead of the red team! None the less Biggest Loser is such great inspiration and I went to the gym right after and worked my butt off, Jillian screaming in my head. Good times! I’m hoping to lose 3lbs this week, which is actually next week because I didn’t do my weigh in until Monday so I cant re weigh in until next Monday, which is ok because I have a craft fair on Saturday. I’m kind of having anxiety about my job thing because the whole driving record STILL hasn’t been resolved..ugg…so poor, hopefully fingers crossed all gets taken care of by the end of the week (or sooner) and my weight loss goes well and the craft fair is awesome! An exciting busy week!

Were Back!

Two things that had left my life are now back! And I am happy to say that because of these two items I am down 3 lbs from saturday! Lets hope that brings me at least a 2lb loss at my weigh in this Saturday morning!

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This is two eggs (but only one yolk per all of your great comments) on (what could be the best thing ever) an Oroweat Sandwich Thin! These are sooo delish! They almost taste like white bread, but they are packed full of goodness. They have been on the East Coast only for a while, but now they are on the west coast too! Go get some, you wont be sorry!

With Gillian in my head, how can I not workout?

With Jillian in my head, how can I not workout?

Also in my BL high I hit up the real gym last night! I had given this u after I got my Wii Fit, but have decide in order to kick my ass into high gear that I will be going every night to the gym!

Biggest Loser and Two Workouts in One Day!

So Im on my Wii Fit in the AM kick, but tonight after watching the season premier of Biggest Loser Season 8 I actually drug my ass to 24 hour fitness to get in my second workout of the day! Woo hoo! Im stoked that BL is back on and is going to motivated me to work my ass off to get to 50lbs lost and then to my goal weight! The last month has been super hard on me, Ive had at least 4 total meltdowns in the “Im sooooo Fat” category. Its like now Ive been at this weight for long enough, the joy of getting here has worn off and now I can see that Im still nowhere near my goal. I am NOT happy at this weight, at the way I look, at the size of my clothes, at my physical ability. I need to push through this and not just give in or claim Im doing everything I can, because Im not! I could be eating even healthier and working out even more! I know some people might think its crazy to get so worked up over something like this, to get so obsessed, but this is my dream! I have wanted this for as long as I can remember, to be an average size, to look not just cute, but hot! And this is the most motivated and hardest I have ever worked at something, and I WONT settle for anything else but goal weight. I wont!

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Ok ok so maybe BL got to me a little tonight (yes I cried at least 5 times! But seriously did you hear Abby’s story?) but you know what my sister in law was really inspired by BL a while back, and she worked her ass off at the gym and lost 80 (correct me if Im wrong Ash) pounds! So you know what? I can do this too!

The other day at work I was working the front door and a thin woman walked in, and my coworker who is in her late forties and a little heavy (but not as heavy as me, plus she is really short) comes over to me and says “Ugg dont you hate skinny people?” Now first off comments like these are made to me all the time in that “we are both in the chubby girls club” its like women see me and think “Oh theres a girl who can relate to my weight problems because she is fat too!” I usually just laugh or agree or whatever, but inside Im thinking 1. How freaking rude are you? Maybe I dont want to be in your Chubby Girls Club!   2. I hardly know you, its not like Im wearing a damn Broncos Jersey and we can bond over our love of football! I cant take this fat off at the end of the day!    3. NO I DO NOT HATE SKINNY PEOPLE  (duh see the name of my blog) I actually love them! I either lover their god given genetics and have nothing but jealousy for them, or I love and respect their dedication to staying in shape! Overall I cant wait until one day people dont include me automatically in this club, because unless I have made some comment about my own weight, your comments are un welcome!

So moving on, Im off to bed to snug Mr. Gaunt so I can go to sleep and wake up and work out again! Sweet dreams blog world, and feel skinnier in the morning.