Costco Eats and Work

We went to Costco this morning.

It was busy and I had a few too many samples…so shoot me.

We bought some amazing Hummus and Pearl Couscous Salad! I usually don’t buy pre-made pasta dishes, but this was vegan and organic and $5 for 32 oz! And the Hummus was $5 for 32 oz, also vegan and organic. It was a special deal through Pita Pal. At Whole Foods they sell 8oz of their Hummus for $5! Such a better deal at Costco. The guy also said that it last 5 weeks, which is nice because it’s a lot. Sealing the deal he yells to the crowd “For those of you on Weight Watchers, it’s a 1/2 cup for 1 point!” ummm…done. I bought it.

With a crap ton of Hummus we needed a chip like product, so we bought these Blue Ginger Brown Rice chips which are 33 chips for 110 calories, plus 3 grams of fiber. I’m not usually a big rice chip fan, but these are brown rice, so they are much more like a POP Chip, not that weird Lacquered looking cracker product. They are good.

Plus part skim cheese, Apple Chicken Sausage, Salad mix, Lean Ground Turkey, and lunch meat. Costco it always good to us.

I have to work today at Pier 1, which I’m actually kind of enjoying. Its WAAAY better than my real day job, which I hate. On friday I had a total breakdown at work. See on Wednesday I worked my butt off getting my department in to tip-top shape, like really went above and beyond, because we had a big store walk with all the district managers and supervisors. On Friday they came back after the walk and told us that they only walked a few departments and mine wasnt one of them. It was such a let down because I was really proud of myself. I just sobbed in the bathroom. My job is already pretty pointless, and when I really try to work hard and make a difference, it doesn’t even matter. They don’t care, don’t see, and sure as hell don’t say thank you. Its sad.

The good news is that on Thursdays we did our first local delivery of a painting. It was a 1st time Grandma who bought a painting of her grandson for his parents. She was so in love with it, and sent me such a sweet email telling how great it looked and how wonderful it was to work with me. It was so nice. This was my first order done without the assistance of Etsy, and it was great knowing that it can easily be done with email and Paypal and not have to pay Etsy’s Fees. This job is so much more rewarding! You work hard and it actually pays off! It just made me want to keep building this business, I NEED to do this for me.

The big move is now 14 weeks away for me! EEEK! So much to do still, but I’m trying to just stay on top of it and not stress. Christmas is till on the back burner for me. I got a really nice email from my friend Rita talking about the importance of Christmas, and reassuring me that its ok to kind of take a year off. I feel ok about not pushing any holiday cheer on myself this year. I know not everyone agrees with me, but that’s ok.

Lastly Mr. Gaunt and I are both undecided about the gym thing still. I really want the both of us to get memberships, but its really hard to find an extra $70 a month to do that. If you buy a 1 year membership its only about $17 per person a month, but we sure don’t have $400 laying around either. Its so tough to know what to do. I do know that the only way I’m going to lose weight is buy either STRAVING or working out. And let me tell you, starving aint that fun.

 

 

Feeling Separated

I have apparently abandoned my blog a bit. This wasn’t really intentional, I just got busy, and for some reason for the first time in over a year I felt annoyance at posting here.

A lot has been going on, and a lot more will happen in the next year. Some is very exciting, and some is very scary.  Sometimes I feel lost and overwhelmed at all that I have to think about. I get so over worked in my head that I end up pushing everything out in tears and frustrations.

This summer is much hotter and drier than last summer, and if you know me this puts me in quite the mood. I have always felt I have reverse seasonal depression, heat pushes me over the edge. I’m also very anxious about our move, money, wedding, the works, and I’m finding it a bit hard to lean on anyone. Although I do have friends here, its hard for me to really talk with them or open up when my entire goal is to move away. I find that the entire idea of moving is pushing some of my Colorado people further and further from me. I don’t mean to create this tension with people, I’m just a little separated.

I’ve spent the last 4 years here trying to make a bit of a life for myself. I know that a lot of people think I have spent four years bitching about moving, but I feel that they aren’t really giving me credit for all the life steps I have taken here. Jobs, relationships, health, therapy, friends. I really feel like I gave it a shot, but I am ready to move on. I am ready to settle down into a place that is more my own. I’m ready to go back.

I feel rather stagnant with where I am. My job has become challenging with boredom. My health has become lulled with little change. My apartment’s flaws are slowly creeping over its perks.  Its all getting a bit to worn around the edges.

I also worried about the strengths of my relationships back home. I worry that I have caused permanent damage in way of neglect. I worry that my siblings and I will never re connect. I worry that my grandparents think I don’t care anymore. I worry that my parents have gotten so use to me being gone that I will feel like a burden being back. I mean I know they all love me, but the last four years have changed things, and now more than ever I am craving a family closeness that I’m not sure I will get back. The want for big family bbq’s and christmas’ at Grandmas. The long coffee camps with my dad, where he seems less awkward and I feel less strained. The sharing of clothes and life plans with my sister. I would have liked nothing more than to be celebrating our engagement with everyone, it just hasn’t worked out that way.

I want/need something to change a bit, that’s just the kind of person I am. I need some motivation amongst all the heat.

Mr. Gaunt and I are planning to join 24hour fitness again in September. I think we are ready to take the next step to drop the last 30-40 pounds and tone up our bodies. I’m hoping that we can make it a routine, a passion, a way of life. I’m also in serious need of purging. Id LOVE to have a big garage sale, I just don’t have a garage. If anyone want to let us borrow theirs that would be great! We just need to declutter a bit.

And so we carry on. I plan to get back into blogging, it really does make me feel better. And hopefully I will share some more food and adventures along the way!