It’s the final countdown folks. 84 days until our original due date of November 7th, and we are officially out of the “honeymoon second trimester” which if that’s as good as pregnancy gets, I want my money back. Sure sure I stopped throwing up at 20 weeks, and my indigestion went away completely, but I wouldn’t call it a honeymoon….seriously folks, raise your standards!
Here’s whats rolling around in this pregnancy brain of mind:
– I’m pretty sure I haven’t actually had “Pregnancy Brain” I blame my current overwhelming life. I don’t have time to be clumsy or forgetful! Other symptoms I have missed out on: Hemorrhoids (you’re welcome butt), bigger boobs (sorry Mr. Gaunt), Extra nice hair and nails (I’m almost sure my hair is falling out MORE than it ever has), Acne (holla! Good skin trumps again), Linea Nigra (look it up, it’s weird).
-I would say my ass pain is just about as bad as it was at 10 weeks when it showed up. I’m looking into buying a big fitness ball to sit on at home, and during labor, and when the baby comes to bounce her on. In general I’ve gotten use to my butt hurting all the time, but it’s still super annoying.
-I’m the lamest mom-to-be when it comes to reading! I have a stack of 10 or more books, and the only thing I have read is the first 2 chapters of Belly Laughs (really informative if you need Jenny McCarthy to tell you to stop wearing thong underwear when you get pregnant). I had lots of intentions of reading all these books, buuuuut I’m really busy, and Dexter, Breaking Bad and Pretty Little Liars take up my spare relaxing time. Sorry baby, I don’t know how to nurse you, but I do not how to make crystal meth! (also all you BB fans should watch the Myth Busters Breaking Bad special!). I do kind of plan on reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, but I’m having a really hard time getting past the awful title. I’m that vain. Other books I’m hoping to skim read: The Birth Partner, The Bradley Method, Ina May’s Guide To Childbirth, The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth, and Birthing From Within. The sad thing is, I OWN ALL THESE BOOKS! I havent even cracked open any of them. I did get Bringing Up Bebe audio book that Mr. Gaunt and I are gonna listen to on our trip to CO in a few weeks. I’m hoping it teaches us how to raise a worldly baby that is more adult than child…god I’m an awful mother, but I’d really like her to eat things other than grilled cheese, and to sit at a table without having to be the center of attention all the time.
-I’m currently sitting here debating dropping $135 for the technical colleges Birth Class and Breast Feeding class. I mean I want to go, but is it worth it? Or is it gonna be another one of those classes I could have learned everything on youtube for free? Is it wrong that I mostly want to go to met other women who are due around the same time as me? If I make a friend and learn nothing, did I just buy friendship?
-An interesting thing I noticed last week. Once you hit the third trimester people start saying dumb shit like “You must be due soon!” I’m taking this as a sign that they haven’t seen many pregnant women who are in fact “due soon” because those ladies look like they will explode. I went from people offering me beer, to exclaiming I might have a baby any day. I’ll take that beer now please. Weirdly though the bigger I’ve gotten the easier it is to get dressed. Your bump is big enough that you can just rock it, the 2nd trimester bump felt pudgy and awkward to me. Bring on the Jessica Simpson Maxi Dresses!
-I’m finding pregnancy has too many decisions, and not enough choices. I’m getting hung up things like hiring a Doula, taking the Gestational Diabetes test, writing out a birth plan. It’s like I care, but I don’t like my options, or the cost, or the way it’s done in the birth world. The Doula for instance makes me nervous. EVERYONE says you should get one, but they aren’t cheap, and since at this point we are paying for our birth out-of-pocket, another $500-$600 makes a difference. I also worry that she would be too hippie, too lovely, too touchy. I’m pretty into the natural childbirth thing, and I have a lot “hippie” ideas of what I want for my birth, but I am a lot more…abrassive than the average Doula. I don’t want calming words about opening my vagina up to nature. I don’t want you to tell me how beautiful my cervix looks, and I really don’t want you rubbing my back. I have been known to scream “DONT TOUCH ME” at Mr. Gaunt when he is trying to comfort me. I’m just a little…uptight about stuff like touchy-feely shit. So yeah I haven’t interviewed any Doulas, I’m also crazy uncomfortable with the whole Gestational Diabetes test. I’m not digging the scare-tactics that I feel like everyone wants to throw at me. The whole thing makes me uneasy. However I’m inclined to just not deal with any of it and hope it goes away….this is a bad plan.
-Last weekend I had my Washington Baby Shower! It was super cute and fun, despite the fact that I don’t LOVE to be the center of attention. Also every single photo of me opening gifts was god awful unflattering….no need to post those. But the theme was buttons! Which I love! Here are just a few cute shots from the day.
-Mr Gaunt and I also managed to go to the Fair this week! I don’t know how, because by the end of the work day my ankles are all swollen, and I’m grumpy. But we love the Fair, and since opening the restaurant we haven’t been able to do any of the fun stuff you do in the summer. seriously my backyard looks like an un-kept wasteland. I did burn out at about 9:15pm with an ice cream sandwich tummy ache, I sobbed in the car for at least 10 minutes, but then I was fine. Pregnancy is kinda like that, sometimes you just have to sob for 10 minutes and move one.
-My 10 year High School reunion is on Saturday! <– didn’t necessarily think I’d be pregnant at that.
I’m probably going to be blogging more in the coming weeks. I want to share photos of our nursery and talk about some stuff we got for the baby. Speaking of STUFF, we did a parenting questionnaire for my shower, and one of the questions was “What are you most afraid of about parenting” Mr. Gaunt said “Puberty” I said “my house being overrun by tacky toys” Sigh…I’m beginning to realize there may be hope. I’m off to clean this shit hole of a house of mine.
The Family Chapters 
You’re so funny and sweet and crabby! But you gotta do the diabetes thing. love/ shari
You’re too funny, sweet, honest…I love reading your blog! I have a diabetes glucose-o-meter and a ton of unopened finger prickers if you want to borrow it to prove to your midwife the status of your sugars without drinking that awful stuff. Let me know! For your peace of mind, and J’s too, PLEASE read the Bradley book and the awfully titled breast feeding book. I almost didn’t read it because of the title too! You won’t need a doula or a lactation consultant (um, no you may not touch my boob thank you very much!) and will feel better about being prepared, I promise. I know the Bradley exercises sound so ridiculous but it is really worth it to practice, especially for J if he is going to help you through the labor. I would have thrown in the towel and went straight for the epidural if Tyler didn’t know how to help me relax.