Its been a rough few days. I absolutely let what others think of me, make me doubt myself. I wouldn’t even say I’m over it. There sometimes feels like an over whelming amount of thing that I need to change about myself, that I don’t even know where to begin. I feel a bit like a loser.
I applied for a fulltime position at my job (a position that I was already doing, and was very much qualified for) but I didn’t get it. I got a stupid letter saying they chose another qualified candidate. It reminded me of Cheer tryouts in 9th grade, getting the letter that just says NOPE, and then letting your brain run wild with all the reasons why you suck. Too fat, too ugly, too opinionated, not happy enough, not smart enough, not unique or interesting….” I suppose I could ask my employer why it is exactly I didn’t get the job, but I feel it would only make things worse to have her confirm what I already know. I’m trying to quickly focus my energy on what my next step is. My job will probably end in the next 3-4 weeks, and I will need to decided what that means for me. I also like to tell myself things like “You don’t want a sit down job anyways” which is true. Sitting in a chair for 10 hours a day 6 days a week has totally made me gain 5 pounds. That’s an uphill battle I don’t think I want to fight. If you sit down for 40+ hours a week you have to eat PERFECT and work out HARD just to maintain your weight! GAH! I do not want to maintain my weight, I want to kick my weight to the curb!
This week we go back to 40 hours a week, so I will get off at 11pm! This is awesome, as now I can bring back my weight lifting in the evenings. When I got off at 1am there was no way in hell I could keep doing that. Now things can be more sane. I can eat healthier and it will all be better. Well I suppose the financial bit wont be better, but whatever.
Speak of financial. We let my brother move in with us at the beginning of Jully. He needed a cheap place to stay and we needed the extra money. He paid us one lump sum to stay here through the end of September. We will use this money to pay off all of our wedding vendors. This is a HUGE deal! I feel really fortunate that all of that will be taken care of.
We also scored MAJOR yesterday at Kinkos with our wedding invitations. For 2 weeks we had been trying to find a time to go get our invitation printed and cut with this one awesome guy who works there. However for many reasons we kept missing him. On Thursday afternoon we went in one more time and he was there, but super busy. He told us to come in really early on Friday morning and that he would have time to work one on one with us.
For our invitations we needed:
-40 full color prints (2 up)
-40 black and white prints (2 up)
-100 sheets cut to size.
When we had originally gone around to get price quotes Kinkos estimated that with the paper and the printing and cutting we were looking at $120. BUT he told us it would be about 1/2 that if we bought our own paper. I think I mentioned before that we ended up buying our paper on Sale at the paper zone about a month ago. For our design I had made digital files and measurements and put them on a USB drive to have printed. So Mr. Gaunt and I got up at 7:30 am yesterday and worked with “Cool Kinkos Man” for about an hour. Shockingly all of my files and sizes were perfect and the process was totally painless. Then the Kinkos guy ended up having to leave in an emergency (his wife ran out of gas in the middle of an intersection!) as he was leaving he told his coworker what to charge and said “I’ll throw in the cuts as a wedding gift” So his co worker rings us up and Mr.Gaunt hands him the coupon we had for 10% off. The guy looks at us and goes “I can’t use this, you didn’t reach the minimum, your total is $3.72″….uhhh….seriously? that’s right, we got all of invites printed and cut for $3.72! Amazing, I know.
I have to work my last Saturday today, then I get me weekends back! I’m going to try to have a good day today and to keep positive! Tomorrow I need to make something yummy with all our Raspberries that are ready!