We are simplifying the wedding too, amongst all of our decontamination (of our lives) we are cutting back on the Big Day too. This comes about for a few reasons. Some are personal, some are not. I don’t want to offend anyone else in this blog, so I will talk in “I” Statements.
I WAS PUTTING WAY TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS DAY.
I WAS LEANING ON OTHERS TO REASSURE ME IN MY DECISIONS
I WAS FEELING LET DOWN.
I WAS UNABLE TO ACCEPT THAT I MIGHT NOT HAVE ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE.
Its suppose to be fun, planning a wedding, and it is. I love all of the artsy details and the little projects. I even love a good bargain hunt! But there were a few things that I just couldnt make, and although I wanted them dearly, I was unable to provide them for myself.
This is where changes have been made. I have given these ideas about 5 days, and I havent cried over them yet, so I think we ae on a good track.
First off I REALLY wanted a very certain look to my pictures. I was looking for that rustic vintage indie style photography. I find I’m not very traditional when it comes to wedding pictures. I found (and emailed) 4 different photographers (with this style) in the Bellingham area. All four of them quoted me $3000-$4000 minimums. I spent about a week convincing myself that I MUST have this, that someway I have to make that money. Well unfortunately I can’t turn water into gold. And I can’t make $3000 in the next 9 months.
I cried for a good few days over this one. I fought with family a bit. I felt devastated. I know some will think this is a silly thing to be sad over, but for me good wedding photos (besides marrying Mr. Gaunt) was about the most important thing to my wedding. And it wasnt gonna happen.
And so we stand up, we grow up, and we suck it up! Mr. Gaunt and I have decided that we will NOT be having professional photos taken at our wedding. Instead we are going to spend $600-$800 or so on a DSLR Camera. Something I have wanted for years! We are going to (trust) our friends and family to use this camera and help us capture our wedding. Yes its a bit risky (that we will get 500 photos of crap) but in the end there will be memories, and we will have a great camera. So that is that.
I know some might say “Just hire the cheap photographer” but I don’t want to pay someone to take generic pictures of my wedding. On this, I am going ALL or NOTHING. And because life aint always fair…Im picking nothing (except the sweet camera we will be getting)
2. THE DRESS:
Another tough cookie, for 3 reasons:
1. I dont care for my body, it does not fit well in a wedding dress
2. I dont have much money to spend
3. Family and friends seem to have conflicting ideas of what I should wear, making it impossible to ask advice.
In the end, Mr. Gaunt and I spent an hour online looking at dresses last night. Besides myself, Mr. Gaunt’s opinion is the only one I really care about. We finally picked a dress from J. Crew that seemed to be what I was looking for. They didn’t have my size online so they are doing a store search for me. As soon as it is found they will charge my card and ship it to me. Done deal.
We both could not be happier with this decision. Again I had serious fantasies about dress shopping, that I would find that DREAM dress, that my mother would cry, that my father would whip out his credit card for his “Baby Girl” ha! That’s not my life at all, and wedding dresses and wedding dress shopping is all set up to make you feel like that SHOULD be your life. I had to get away from it. I needed something simple and comfortable and really fit my budget, my life, and my relationship.
Oh and on a plus note: I made enough with my paintings in January to pay for this dress!
When the dress arrives I will probably need to lose about 15 pounds for it to fit like I want it to, and if I lose more I can just have it taken in. My friend Dominique (who is a shoe whore) offered to buy me my wedding shoes as a wedding gift, so we will have to go shopping once the dress arrives and I know what size heel I need. I wont lie, I’m hoping this all works out and that this process is a done deal.
Ah, such a taboo topic, except that everyone registers. I guess money makes people uncomfortable to talk about, kind of like weight. Well in case you didn’t know…
IM FAT AND IM POOR!
There, see no awkwardness. If I spent my whole life refusing to talk about things that are uncomfortable I wouldn’t even have this blog, and 50,000 of you wouldn’t have read it. (did u notice my blog views hit 50k last night…exciting!)
Oh back to Registries. Mr. Gaunt and I have registered, at two places. I wont share them here, as that is tacky…lol. However after the revelation that we will be downsizing, we had to “downsize the registry” which was surprisingly easy. Yes there are a few things we still REALLY want: Nice Towels, Nice Silverware and Plates, a Kitchenaid in “Ice blue”….ahem. But we hacked away all of the cripy-crap we don’t need. Now of course most of the whats left are slightly over the $20 budget a lot of people feel comfortable with. What we realized what that the stuff we needed was the stuff we hadnt already purchased ourselves (mostly because we couldn’t afford it) Here is my opinion on that. First off, no one HAS to buy us stuff! We are just happy that so many of our friends and family are coming (especially from out-of-town). We really would not be offended by anyway who didn’t buy us stuff. Secondly we have no problem asking (or receiving) Giftcards.
Its actually kind of funny, at work one day we all had this big discussion about how we HATE giving giftcards but we LOVE receiving them. Isnt that funny. I guess people assume that gift cards only say “I don’t know you well enough to know what to get you” but I kinda feel like a gift Registry says the exact same thing…lol. Anyway we hacked away at the registry and feel good that we wont be acquiring a ton of things we thought we needed. You know what we really need is a Box Spring, which giftcards collectively could help with!
Mr. Gaunt and I have taken on the task of designing, printing and constructing all of our stationary ourselves. This will be a bit of a task, but after the $5000 quote I received from an Etsy seller to do it all for me, I know it was what we had to do. It will be fun! A challenge! We are excited.
So that my friends is where we stand.
YOU GET ENGAGED.
YOU PLAN YOUR FANTASY WEDDING.
YOU CHANGE YOUR PLANS.
Oh and my baby turns TWO this weekend!