The Mood, The Body, and The New Year

With the holidays past and the present too far off, I am left to stir.

And itch and scratch and bitch and batch?

We have therapy on Wednesday…thank the lord! I could use someone to pay to listen to me cry.

I had a few days where I didn’t regularly take my 5HTP. Is that really what threw my emotions to the wolves?

I’m extra uncomfortable in my body these days . I think it knows that it’s in change mode. It also knows that it has to put on a big white dress in the near future. It’s a bit pissed off. I’m a bit pissed off at it too.

I might be the best and worst planner. I plan until I freak out and then I don’t follow through with the plan or the freaking out.  I’m very unproductive.

I also worry too much about the shit I don’t have or can’t make happen. I’m very un-content.

Here are the goals for the next 24 hours. I’m trying to live in the present…or the VERY near future:

1. Find my cell phone.

2. Make Chili for lunches tomorrow

3. Make some stir fry for tonight’s dinner

4. straighten the mess a bit

5. Think real hard about getting more 5HTP

6. Watch a movie with Mr. Gaunt

7. Make my car payment

8. Email back 3 new customers

9. Make 2 new stencils

10. Not cry or say nasty things to people who do not deserve, nor want to hear nasty things yelled at them.

Tonight we packed Nic Naks and Christmas. We have made a calendar of WEEK-BY-WEEK packing and organizing, to reduce the stress of doing too much at once. I tackled Christmas and Nic Naks, and Mr. Gaunt went through all of our CD’s and organized and purged. Little by little.

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3 thoughts on “The Mood, The Body, and The New Year

  1. Not to make you feel un-special, but a lot of people (including myself) go through random bitchiness/emotional waves (mine was yesterday). I feel you on the stress: you’re smart by doing small, manageable goals and a general plan for the future- it’s what I try to get Coral to do (you should have seen her pack yesterday for going out to sea!)

  2. When you say ‘the present is too far off’, you are living in the future and not seeing what is right in front of you and is good in your life… right now, in the present. The 5htp seemed to be working for you, so I would give it another shot.

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