So Im on my Wii Fit in the AM kick, but tonight after watching the season premier of Biggest Loser Season 8 I actually drug my ass to 24 hour fitness to get in my second workout of the day! Woo hoo! Im stoked that BL is back on and is going to motivated me to work my ass off to get to 50lbs lost and then to my goal weight! The last month has been super hard on me, Ive had at least 4 total meltdowns in the “Im sooooo Fat” category. Its like now Ive been at this weight for long enough, the joy of getting here has worn off and now I can see that Im still nowhere near my goal. I am NOT happy at this weight, at the way I look, at the size of my clothes, at my physical ability. I need to push through this and not just give in or claim Im doing everything I can, because Im not! I could be eating even healthier and working out even more! I know some people might think its crazy to get so worked up over something like this, to get so obsessed, but this is my dream! I have wanted this for as long as I can remember, to be an average size, to look not just cute, but hot! And this is the most motivated and hardest I have ever worked at something, and I WONT settle for anything else but goal weight. I wont!
Ok ok so maybe BL got to me a little tonight (yes I cried at least 5 times! But seriously did you hear Abby’s story?) but you know what my sister in law was really inspired by BL a while back, and she worked her ass off at the gym and lost 80 (correct me if Im wrong Ash) pounds! So you know what? I can do this too!
The other day at work I was working the front door and a thin woman walked in, and my coworker who is in her late forties and a little heavy (but not as heavy as me, plus she is really short) comes over to me and says “Ugg dont you hate skinny people?” Now first off comments like these are made to me all the time in that “we are both in the chubby girls club” its like women see me and think “Oh theres a girl who can relate to my weight problems because she is fat too!” I usually just laugh or agree or whatever, but inside Im thinking 1. How freaking rude are you? Maybe I dont want to be in your Chubby Girls Club! 2. I hardly know you, its not like Im wearing a damn Broncos Jersey and we can bond over our love of football! I cant take this fat off at the end of the day! 3. NO I DO NOT HATE SKINNY PEOPLE (duh see the name of my blog) I actually love them! I either lover their god given genetics and have nothing but jealousy for them, or I love and respect their dedication to staying in shape! Overall I cant wait until one day people dont include me automatically in this club, because unless I have made some comment about my own weight, your comments are un welcome!
So moving on, Im off to bed to snug Mr. Gaunt so I can go to sleep and wake up and work out again! Sweet dreams blog world, and feel skinnier in the morning.